Don’t even pretend! You know you’ve fantasized about these 25 things every human secretly wants to do. If only we were cats.
Have a Secret Life
So maybe we don’t want to cook meth and make millions, but having a secret life and alter ego definitely sounds intriguing.
Roll Around in Money
This is why we play the lottery. To win a lot of money and then bathe in it.
Run Red Lights AND Avoid ALL Traffic
You’re late! You’re late! No stopping at red lights for you! Also NO MORE TRAFFIC EVER!
Leap Tall Buildings In a Single Bound
This would make commuting SO.MUCH.EASIER. And while we’re talking about commuting…
Tell Off Our Bosses
No, we won’t be coming in on Sunday. And you can do those TPS reports yourself.
Be the Funniest Person In the Room
So some of us probably ARE the funniest person in the room. That’s cool. I guess.
Throw a Drink in Someone’s Face
This cat isn’t splashing water in that other cat’s face, but you can tell it totally wants to. Just like a Real Housewife.
Be BFFs With Our Favorite Celebrities
Get invited to the Oscars with your BFF and spend the night brushing elbows with Hollywood’s elite? Sure, we’ll take that.
Run Into Our Exes While Looking Our Best
They’ll be so sorry they ever dumped us. So very sorry.
Take Over the World
It’s a cat’s world and the rest of us are just living in it.
Touch Things We Aren’t Supposed to Touch
The temptation! IT’S SO REAL!
Quiet Crying Babies in Confined Spaces
No one likes it when babies cry in confined spaces. Not even the parents.
Break Things Just Because
Ahhhh, sweet, sweet relief.
Tell People To Shut Up
The loud talkers, the over sharers, those with bad breath. Telling them all to shut up would save our ears!
Hang Out With Taylor Swift
Doesn’t she just seem like fun? And she loves to dance! Plus she has great hair! Call us, TSwift! Let’s hang out!
Key the Cars of People Who Double Park
Yes, we definitely do wish vehicular damage on people who park like jackasses.
Be a Hero
Saving lives is all in a day’s work.
Knock Down Doors
What a way to make an entrance.
Go Off the Grid
It’d be so cool to change our identities and just go off the grid.
Punch Somebody
It doesn’t even really matter why or whom, we just want to punch somebody in the face.
Stare Down a Stranger
You don’t even know the person. You’re both just standing in line at the DMV. But you totally want to give them your best “come hither” stare.
Take What You Want When You Want It
You see it. You want it. You take it. Everyone else be damned.
Be a Rock Star
You know you’ve dreamed of jamming out on stage, the crowd going wild. Every time you take a shower or drive your car.
Steal Food From People You Don’t Know
You order your meal at a restaurant and the person at the next table over orders something that looks more delicious than yours.
Sit on Ian Somerhalder’s Lap
Oh yes, we’d sit on Ian Somerhalder’s lap ANY DAY OF THE WEEK AND TWICE ON SUNDAY.