90 Day Fiance: The Other Way Season 4 is coming to a close.
There is not much time left for couples to resolve their differences on camera.
And that’s a problem for several of them.
“I’m done” is not an uncommon phrase, but Season 4, Episode 14 saw multiple actual breakups.
Even the couples who didn’t split on camera have major issues looming over their heads.
Kris Foster and Jeymi Noguera
Five months later, Kris is back in Colombia. She is happy to be back to see her wife … but they have a lot to talk about. Both women are hurting.
Jeymi feels similarly
She has pulled out all of the stops to welcome Kris home, but she has a lot of hurt and anger. She wants to talk about all of it with Kris … but not right away.
Seeing each other again is a joyous moment
For a moment, a lot of bitterness and worry and questions and points of contention seem to melt away. Kris and Jeymi lock eyes and embrace, and they’re full of joy. Inside, Jeymi has decorated to welcome Kris home — including with s’mores ingredients. It’s all very cute and personal.
They both know that things will be awkward for a while
Both Kris and Jeymi have a lot to say to each other. Really, the only person whose excitement is uncomplicated is their dog. But for now, they want to have a good night now that they are reunited.
You know what else helped to cut the tension?
Kris showed off her eccentricities early this season while wearing a unicorn onesie. Now, Jeymi has one to match it. Dancing around in their new costumes served as an icebreaker. It sounds like, after everything, they weren’t in the mood for more traditional marital bond-repair work. Considering what happens … we don’t blame them.
Unfortunately, Kris’ 5-month absence included Jeymi’s birthday
This would have been their first time celebrating together. Instead, Jeymi spent her first birthday as a married woman without her wife. We learn that Kris’ final delay had to do with her son getting into some manner of trouble. Her son is an adult … but still a teenager. Kris had to help him, though the details remain very vague.
Kris is here to make up for lost time
This will be Jeymi’s first time swimming in years (which either sounds relatable or unthinkable, depending upon your own life). Kris went all out, having the owner decorate the pool and include a spread for the occasion.
The spread is every bit as customized as Jeymi’s s’mores were
Kris has a red velvet cake for her wife, cheese balls (basically generic spherical cheetos), and more. It all has the makings of a wonderful day.
They have a wonderful time in the pool
It’s not just smiles and giggling, either. To the confessional camera, Kris and Jeymi express how this reminds them of the woman with whom they fell in love. This is what they signed up for. But, unfortunately, they do have to talk things through if they want to resolve these bitter feelings.
Kris had promised to be there for Jeymi’s birthday
Jeymi tells her that she understood that she had to help her son — again, his situation remains vague — but it hurt that Kris did not keep her promise. It was, of course, part of a larger issue. Kris explains that she’s a mom, so sometimes her responsibilities have to come first, no matter what she wants.
There are larger, more practical issues
Jeymi brings up the money issue. Kris did pay the rent for a time after she returned to Alabama, but then she stopped. This created issues for both of them. In Kris’ mind, Jeymi’s job search had lasted for months, and she wondered if she was still trying. From Jeymi’s perspective, Kris had not only abandoned her physically, but walked away from her financial responsibilities — even after promising her that she wouldn’t need to worry.
Now, Kris can explain that
But instead of waiting for Jeymi to finish, Kris keeps trying to talk. Unfortunately, the situation quickly goes downhill, with both of them blundering. Kris is interrupting, when Jeymi wants to say her piece first. And Jeymi? Well, she begins speaking louder and louder, which upsets Kris, who feels that she’s raising her voice at her (she is raising her voice, the “at her” is subjective).
And that’s it
A furious Kris storms off, leaving the belated birthday girl alone at her pool party. Well, the production crew is there, but they don’t really count. That is a grim way for that to end. And there is no ta lot of time left in the season to resolve things.
Daniele Gates and Yohan Geronimo
Despite things getting off to a rocky start between the two very tall, Size 14 shoe men, Yohan and Taylen Alexander — Daniele’s friend — meet up for basketball. Taylen is a professional, but it’s a close game, as apparently they are playing by different rules … and do not speak the same language. We couldn’t say whether this is true or an excuse, but perhaps viewers more familiar with sports caught the nuances of their game.
After they’re done getting all sweaty, it’s time to discuss dong
That is to say, Yohan offers Taylen an apology for asking deliberately inappropriate questions the other day. His goal was to humiliate his wife to punish her for, what, having a friend without his approval? Taylen was just collateral damage.
Also, Yohan has questions for Taylen
He wants to know if Daniele was “controlling” with him during their 5-month relationship. Taylen’s answer is actually pretty nuanced. Simply put, Daniele is “not a submissive woman” … but he didn’t see things as imbalanced.
Daniele wants “as much control as you”
As he sees it, Taylen didn’t live under Daniele’s thumb. She told him how she wanted things, and he told her how he wanted things. They shared control of the relationship, because they were the two people in it.
Yohan says that this sounds good to him
That … would seem to fly in the face of some of his previous behavior. Viewers have seen Yohan object to the idea of Daniele driving, which is almost cartoonishly chauvinistic. Perhaps, in his mind, that’s not a control issue? But it very much is.
Despite his height, Yohan is still neck deep in gender role BS
Hopefully, he knows that he needs to get over certain toxic ideas — just as Debbie needs to communicate more reasonably and make fewer unilateral decisions for them both. But unlearning and moving past all of this sexist baggage could require some earnest work. Is he prepared to do that?
Later, Yohan meets with Daniele
She asks him if he now understands and believes that, no, her having a friend who happens to be an ex does not mean that one or both of them are pining to get back together. Daniele moved to the DR to be with Yohan. She married Yohan. There’s no competition.
They really are both trying
But Daniele and Yohan are both so stubborn that, when they clash, it gets ugly very quickly.
Deep down, Yohan feels like Daniele doesn’t respect him or their marriage
In theory, he’s “okay” with her having friends (she doesn’t like the idea that he’s giving her permission), but it became about how Daniele decided to do what she wanted. He doesn’t understand why a married woman would ignore her husband’s wishes, even if they’re not reasonable. (Again, he and Taylen seem fine now)
Meanwhile, Daniele also feels disrespected
He has insulted and belittled and humiliated her, and not just with Taylen. Before that, he embarrassed her at his birthday party, snubbing her in front of his family after she put the festivities together. It’s not healthy.
Neither of them are interested in changing
In fact, Daniele is pretty outspoken about how she has no desire to change who she is as a person. That’s not the same as not making accommodations to help their marriage, but it feels … similar. If neither of them are willing to budge, what happens?
Daniele grows increasingly frustrated
After a while, she checks out of the argument, accusing Yohan of continuing talking without making any progress. “I’m done,” she tells him. Presumably just with the argument.
Well, this is illustrative
In the background, we see Yohan still sitting on the beach, watching his wife. Meanwhile, she wonders if she should just spend the next year in the DR alone — she wonders if this marriage is the wrong choice.