The Kim Kardashian video game is coming. We know. WE KNOW. Here's our player's guide, THG-style.
The Kim Kardashian Video Game
Congratulations! You're Kim Kardashian! Minus 200.
Be adventurous in the sack and make homemade porn with your boyfriend! (Uhhh, plus 20?) Get famous when he leaks the sex tape. Minus 150.
Have a great hair day! Plus 50! No one looks at your hair because they're too busy staring at the canteloupes on your chest. Minus 75.
Go to the gym and work on your fitness! Plus 75. Post gym selfies bragging about your workout. Minus 100.
Go on glamorous vacations! Plus 40. Be an attention whore about your bikini body AND your tropical location. Minus 80.
Be an Actress
Book a gig on a popular TV show like you're a real actress! Plus 40. Realize you're just a reality TV star and go about your business. Minus 80.
Share clothes with your sisters! Plus 25. Refuse to be out-hotted by your 17 year old half-sibling. Minus 60.
Marry the love of your life! Plus 100! Realize he's the THIRD love of your life. Minus 250.
Give birth to an ADORABLE baby. Plus 100. (No minus points for this one because the world loves an adorable baby.)
Strike a Pose
Land yourself on the cover of Vogue magazine. Plus 125. Spark a firestorm of negativity about how you got there and make everyone pretend to care about fashion magazines. Minus 75
Twerk for the camera. Minus 125. (Nothing good comes from twerking. You are awarded no points.)
Bound (to Be a Hit)
Make a music video with your fiance! Plus 40 for being supportive of his career! Realize you're topless on a motorcycle and simulating sex acts. Minus 80.
Home Sweet Home
Buy an enormous house with your fiance that will take two years to renovate. Plus 30. Live with your momager while the repairs are made. Minus 70.
Pose for Playboy magazine. Don't worry! They're totally just reading the articles! Plus 40. Pretend you didn't know the sex tape would be leaked. Minus 150.