Jenelle Evans is no stranger to conflict.
In fact, we're pretty sure online feuds are her primary motivation for waking up in the morning,
Jenelle's beefs with her co-stars were the stuff of legend, and she's keeping those old animosities alive by posting clickbait articles about their personal lives on her Instagram page.
But these days, Evans has an even more formidable foe in the form of an army of animal rights activists who want to make her pay for a shocking act of cruelty.
Take a look:
Justice For Nugget
Jenelle's always had a lot of enemies, but she's made even more in the months since her douche bag husband, David Eason, shot and killed her 11-pound French bulldog, Nugget.
What a Wuss
Big bad Dave apparently felt that Nugget was a dangerous threat to his family's safety -- a threat that could only be neutralized with the help of a shotgun. This guy's idiocy is matched only by his cowardice.
So Davey got scared and shot the dog, and Jenelle supported his actions, even though doing so cost her custody of her kids.
We should say the decision cost Jenelle custody of MOST of her kids. She's never had custody of her eldest son, 10-year-old Jace.
Jenelle is desperate to clear her name these days for the simple reason that if she loses her remaining fans, she might be forced to get a real job.
Let the Clickbait Begin
Fortunately, she's figured out an interesting win-win scenario: she gets paid to give interviews to tabloid outlets and post their stuff on her Instagram page. This allows her to keep a roof over her head and spread pro-Jenelle propaganda at the same time.
Can't Knock the Hustle
With her latest piece of sponsored clickbait, Evans has taken things a step further, using the article to promote her forthcoming cosmetics line.
Under the guise of discussing her ongoing (and allegedly made-up) health problems, Jenelle spilled the tea about the business venture that she hopes will put her in a class with billionaire Kylie Jenner.
What a World
The article appears on something called Teen Mom Talk Now. It's one of those annoying slideshow things where you have to click to a new page every other sentence, so allow us to save you some time with a quick rundown.
The piece kicks off with a statement Evans previously made about her health woes:
Food Shall Not Pass
"Every time I would fly in a plane, even today, spasms happen in my chest,” she explained. “Food or liquid will not pass through. Then, I throw up an hour into the flight and keep going until I land, which is a four hour flight, usually from North Carolina to Los Angeles.”
Putting Things Up Her Nose Again!
“I’m getting a PH study for my esophagus and have a small catheter up my nose and down my throat for 24 hours,” Jenelle told TMTN to explain recent pics in which she appears to have a tube up her nose.
Hates Gonna Hate (For Goods Reason)
Jenelle went on to complain that the public is still giving her a hard time for defending her dog-killing husband ... and then buying him more animals to abuse.
Nothing Is Ever Her Fault
"I’m being harassed by haters at the moment because of something that happened and wasn’t ever my fault to begin with," Evans whined.
Remember, She JUST Regained Custody of Her Kids
"I’m just doing my job as a mom everyday and taking care of my kids," Jenelle went on, clearly expecting some sort of trophy.
Call the Wah-bulance
"I have never abused an animal in my life and continued to be an avid animal lover," she added. "We now have been raising a little homestead at our house and I have learned a lot the past 6 months." Everyone needs to move on with their lives because we are too.
Doesn't Sound Like "Continuing On" to Us!
"I am continuing on with the next chapter in my life and would like all the hateful comments, false accusations, and fake reviews to stop," she droned on.
What About Nugget? Does He Get to Move On?
"Everyone needs to move on with their lives because we are too," she continued, despite the fact that she's clearly fixated on the same issues as always.
“No matter what happens…nothing will stop me from launching my new brand,” Evans added.
And what does Jenelle's animal abuse have to do with her makeup line? That's a good question with a hilarious answer.
“The original website…the domain was bought” Evans' manager tells the site.
Winning the Internet
Yes, an amazing animal rights group bought up the site for Jenelle's cosmetics line when she failed to keep up on the payments herself!
You Can't Make This Stuff Up
To make matters even more hilarious, if you click on the link on Jenelle's website to buy her makeup -- it still takes you to the Justice For Nugget page!
Keep It Up, Folks!
“Fans are harassing her for her makeup line, and they bought the domain," the manager adds. "In the domain they wrote nasty things about the line and also nasty things about Jenelle…they bought it and have been harassing us.”
Not All Heroes Wear Capes
Jenelle's line is set to be officially launched on September 9 in NYC. We're not sure how Evans will get there since flying gives her spasms, but here's your reminder, in case you want to swing by and join the protest.