Strange things are taking place on Jenelle Evans’ aluminum shed-strewn country estate known affectionately as The Land.
The amazing thing about Jenelle and David Eason is that their lives are so absurd that even though he’s been fired from Teen Mom 2 and she won’t be appearing in new episodes until next month, there’s still so much drama in their lives that it can be hard to keep up.
Fortunately, we’re here to help.
In case you haven’t heard, today has been one for the books, with Jenelle lashing out at her bosses, bragging about her physique and receiving a sponge bath from her husband for some reason.
Take a look:
Life on the Land
Ever since October, Jenelle and David have been locked into the sort of downward spiral that’s usually reserved for iconic rock musicians who have recently celebrated their 27th birthday.
The Incident
It started with Jenelle accusing David of assaulting her, then quickly backpedaling on that claim.
The Right Move
Not long after, Jenelle and David briefly broke up, but alas, they’ve since gotten back together.
One Angry Guy
From there, the situation deteriorated rapidly, thanks in large part to David’s bizarre social media activity.
David’s Got Some Guns
Eason even received a visit from the Secret Service last week after posting violent threats about Donald Trump, Nancy Pelosi, and other elected officials.
Taking a Break?
You’d think after so much insanity over a period of just a few weeks, David and Jenelle would keep a low profile for a few days.
Nope!
But these two are the thirstiest human beings on the planet, so instead, Jenelle has been having a truly ridiculous day on the ‘Gram.
Flaunting It
Jenelle took to Instagram this week to flaunt her new physique. Her caption on her latest pic has outraged some of her followers.
All Shiller, No Filler
Jenelle has been shilling for weight loss teas for years, but this time, the tone of her pitch really pissed off her followers.
How Many Moms?
“Holiday bloat isn’t a thing with @flattummyco!” Jenelle wrote. “How many of you moms can show off your tummies like me this time of year?”
There Must Have Been a Better Way to Put That
She concluded by encouraging the reader to “get your tummy back on track.”
Spilling the Tea
There’s a lot wrong with this post, and Jenelle’s followers were happy to bring all the flaws to her attention.
Abs or Ribs
“I don’t see a tummy. I see your pants pulled up to your ribs. Do you need an anatomy lesson?” wrote one user.
Good Point
“To advertise a ‘tummy’ tea and ask ‘How many moms can show off their tummy LIKE ME’ you should probably start with SHOWING YOUR TUMMY!” the follower continued.
It Gets Weirder …
But if you think that’s her only social media fail in the past 24 hours, you don’t know Jenelle.
The Bath
Jenelle posted an Instagram story in which her husband bathes her as though she’s a toddler.
The Poll
It was every bit as creepy as it sounds, and Twitter users were quick to send the message that it was neither cool nor okay.
The Consensus
It’s generally agreed that whatever is happening in the mercifully brief clip is both gross and weird.
Trailer Trash
Further pissing Jenelle off today is the new trailer for Teen Mom 2 Season 9.
Short Shrift
We don’t see much of Jenelle in the trailer, and what we little we do see centers around her tumultuous relationship with David.
What Else Is New?
As usual, Jenelle is angry. And for some reason, she’s taking it out on her mom.
Screen Time
Though she claims to hate the spotlight, Jenelle is pissed off that she’s not in the trailer more.
No Small Roles …
And she’s also angry that Barbara has a bigger role than she does these days.
Consequences …
Of course, it was just a few weeks ago that Jenelle was boasting about David menacing the show’s film crew and making it difficult for them to get footage. So … she must have seen this coming. Right?