He was the first virgin in Bachelor history, and now Colton Underwood has confessed to being something else entirely:
The first gay man in Bachelorr history.
Such a revelation may not have come as a complete shock to those who have closely been paying attention to his journey and yet… wow.
We salute Colton’s bravery and admire the raw honesty and vulnerability he displayed during this lengthy interview and discussion.
We’ve highlighted some of the main sections below, including the two words that have changed Colton’s life forever… how he feels about ex-girlfriend Cassie Randolph… and whether or not he’s actually dated a man just yet.
Speaking His Truth
Colton Underwood shocked Bachelor Nation in April 2021 when he came out and said two simple, albeit powerful words. The former ABC lead told Robin Roberts, “I’m gay.”
Should This Be a Total Shock?
No. In his memoir, Underwood admitted to Googling the question “Am I Gay?” back in high school and said he wondered about his sexuality because he played football… yet didn’t drink or have sex. And didn’t really want to do either of those things, either.
Why Did He Come Out Now?
The former Bachelor said that he was motivated to come out after getting “into a place with [his] personal life that was dark and bad,” telling Roberts: “I think overall the reason why now is because I got to a place where I didn’t think I was ever going to share this. I would have rather died than say, ‘I’m gay.'”
Did the Pandemic Play a Role?
Kind of. “Obviously this year has been a lot for a lot of people,” he added. “It’s probably made a lot of people look themselves in the mirror and figure out who they are and what they’ve been running from or what they’ve been putting off in their lives And for me, I’ve ran from myself for a long time. I’ve hated myself for a long time.”
Does He Regret Appearing on The Bachelor?
“Do I regret handling it the way that I did? I do. I do think I could have handled it better. I’ll say that.”
Underwood Was Suicidal Before Coming Out
“There was a moment in L.A. that I woke up, and I didn’t think I was gonna wake up. I didn’t have the intentions of waking up, and I did. I think for me that was, like, my, my wake-up call. Like, this is your life, take back control. Beyond that, [I had] even just suicidal thoughts. I’m driving my car close to a cliff, like, ‘Oh if this goes off the cliff, it’s not that big of a deal.’ I don’t feel that anymore.”
Who Else Has He Told?
We can’t say for certain to whom Colton came out personally, but he told Roberts: “I’m gay, and I came to terms with that earlier this year and have been processing it. The next step in all of this was sort of letting people know.”
Did He Truly Love Cassie?
“Yes, and that only made it harder and more confusing for me. I loved everything about her, and it’s hard for me to articulate exactly what my emotions were in going through that relationship with her because I obviously had an internal fight going on.”
Does He Have a Message for Her Now?
“I would just say that I’m sorry from the bottom of my heart. I’m sorry for any pain and emotional stress I caused. I wish that it wouldn’t have happened the way that it did. I wish that I had been courageous enough to fix myself before I broke anybody else.”
When Did He Consider He Might Be Gay?
“I’ve known that I’ve been different since age 6, and I couldn’t process it and I couldn’t put my finger on what it was until high school, my freshman year, when I knew I was gay. By that time, I had already grown up in the Catholic Church, I had gone to Catholic grade school. I had learned in the Bible that [being] gay is a sin. I had made mistakes in my sports and in my athletic career and when you make mistakes, that play was ‘gay.’ …. Gay was always affiliated with a connotation of negativity and I think there’s a lot of things when I look back, I’m like, no wonder I held it in.”
So… Why Ddid He Go on The Bachelor?
“I literally remember praying, praying to God the morning I found out that I was on Bachelor and thanking him for making me straight. I remember that vividly and saying like, ‘Finally, you’re letting me be straight. Finally, you’re giving me a wife, a fiancée and then I’m gonna have the kids and then I’m gonna have the house and then I’m gonna have all this.”
Does He Feel Closer to God Now?
“I used to pray for him to change me and I can now wake up and pray to God and I can actually have faith and I can go into church and be present; not have it be conditional on this topic of, ‘Take this off my plate and I’ll still worship you and I’ll still be there.’ It’s more, I’m closer to him. And that’s helped.”
Wow. Has Underwood Been with a Man Yet?
“I’ll just go on record saying like I still haven’t had an emotional connection with a man. I’ve never allowed myself to.”
How Is He Doing… Right Now?
“I’m emotional, but I’m emotional in such a positive way. I’m the happiest and healthiest I’ve ever been in my life and that means the world to me,” Colton said on GMA.
On the professional front, Underwood will anchor an upcoming reality show on Netflix.
How Has Bachelor Nation Responded?
With nothing but shows of supports. “Very proud of you today @coltonunderwood,” Chris Harrison wrote on Instagram. “Happy to see you stand up and openly live your truth. You have my love and support my friend.”
Who Else Has Reached Out?
Bravo’s Andy Cohen tweeted, “You’re free now, @colton,” adding in a rainbow flag emoji in response to the news.
That Wasn’t All, Either
Added Schitt’s Creek star and multi-Emmy winner Dan Levy, addressing the importance of the reality star sharing the reveal publicly: “‘Coming out’ can be a terrifying, uncomfortable, and traumatizing experience because we still live in a world where we are made to fear the consequences of living freely. Let that sink in. So happy for @colton Underwood. His courage will [undoubtedly] save lives today.”
Going (Johnny) Bananas
The Challenge multi-season winning star Johnny Bananas posted a photo showing him with Underwood, captioning it: “So proud of my buddy @colton I admire your courage to live your truth, and happy to call you a friend.”
A Final Word from Colton…
“I just wish I wouldn’t have dragged people into my own mess of figuring out who I was. I genuinely mean that,” he said on GMA. “But I can sit here and say I’m sorry to all those women. I can also say thank you because without them and without the Bachelor franchise, I don’t know if this would have ever came out.”