Barack Obama is pretty darn funny. Consider these lines from the 2015 White House Correspondents Dinner.
Putting the FUN in Funeral:
It is no wonder that people keep pointing out how the presidency has aged me. I look so old, John Boehner's already invited Netanyahu to speak at my funeral.
The End of Days
Just this week Michele Bachmann actually predicted that I would bring about the biblical end of days. Now, that's a legacy.
I have one friend ... just a few weeks ago she was making millions of dollars a year, and she's now living out of a van in Iowa.
On Cecily Strong Resembling CNN Anchor Brooke Baldwin:
Usually the only people impersonating journalists on CNN are journalists on CNN.
On the Sitcom black-ish:
Being black-ish only makes you popular for so long. Trust me, there's a shelf life to that thing.
The polar vortex caused so many record lows they renamed it MSNBC.
After the midterm elections, my advisers asked me, 'Mr. President, do you have a bucket list?'And I said, well, I have something that rhymes with bucket list ... Take executive action on immigration? Bucket! New climate regulations? Bucket!
See, Obama Cares!
You no longer have to worry about losing your health insurance is you lose your job. You're welcome, Senate Democrats.
Two Disses with One Stone
Dick Cheney says he thinks I'm the worst president of his lifetime, which is interesting because I think Dick Cheney is the worst president of my lifetime. What a coincidence!
His Buddy Biden
Joe Biden is a great friend. We've gotten so close in some places in Indiana they won't serve us pizza anymore!
An Easy Target:
Donald Trump is here ... still.
It's Hard Getting a Lot Done as President...
... while finding time to pray five times a day.
More on Biden:
I feel as loose and relaxed as ever. Those Joe Biden shoulder massages, they're like magic. You should try one ... oh you have!