The emotionally charged 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way continued last night with Season 2, Episode 9.
Deavan and Jihoon meet up to talk things out, but some things get lost in translation … including Jihoon’s temper.
Kenneth and Armando struggle over PDA. Kenneth has had a lifetime of being out in a homophobic world. Armando has not.
Yazan takes Brittany to see his uncle, hoping that he can make peace with Yazan’s parents.
Ariela’s mom inspects the hospital, but she has some real questions for Biniyam.
And Tim’s arrival in Columbia to see Melyza is complicated by the baggage that his cheating has added to their relationship.
Let’s break it all down!
Deavan Clegg and Jihoon Lee
Last week, Deavan took a break while Jihoon wept in front of his parents. Now Deavan, who moved into a hotel with her two kids and with her mother, Elicia, is trying to show her mom that moving to South Korea is not a mistake. Together, they visit an open air market. It very much like a farmer’s market, but there is a lot of seafood . . . and some of it is alive.
Drascilla is having the best time
Some kids who like seeing the live fish would shriek and cry when they see fish beheaded and wrapped up for sale. Not Drascilla. Just over 3 years old, she is fascinated by the whole process.
Things don’t go quite as planned
Deavan’s efforts to show her mom all that South Korea has to offer (which is quite a lot!) run awry as she encounters some hiccups in her attempts to order things. She can communicate well enough to order and she can translate with her device, but it doesn’t help when there is a written menu and no pictures.
Deavan talks things out with mom
She explains that she understands Jihoon’s reason for lying — that he wanted her to move there sooner — and she’s going to figure out what needs to happen next.
Elicia offers her two cents
She tells Deavan that, if it were her call, they’d be back on a plane for Salt Lake City that day. Though Deavan and Jihoon clearly love each other, love doesn’t pay the bills, and you need trust if you’re going to have a relationship.
As for Jihoon …
He is still emotionally recovering from his guilt and the rejection that followed explaining his lies.
His parents don’t quite get it
They understand the money part, but Jihoon emphasizes that the betrayal has hurt Deavan more — and is not something that can simply be fixed with money.
Deavan arrives to chat
Deavan explains that Drascilla fell asleep, so Elicia is watching after her 3-year-old granddaughter while Deavan sits down with Jihoon and his parents.
Jihoon swears that he will provide for the family
Deavan points out that he told her the same thing just a couple of months earlier, which makes his promise seem a little empty.
Jihoon’s dad apologizes
Jihoon’s dad seems to more easily understand the monetary angle, and apologizes for not financially supporting Deavan themselves. That’s nice and money matters, but it’s not the root of the problem.
Translation errors abound
Deavan and Jihoon both are using the translation devices, but in case you haven’t noticed, we’re all living in a Hunger Games world, not in Star Trek. So the translations are less than perfect. Deavan gets VERY upset when some of the translations of what Jihoon says come out saying the opposite of what he means. It’s also frustrating for her to listen to arguments in Korean.
Finally, Jihoon is fed up
He gets up, declares that Deavan should just go back to America, and storms off. WOW.
Kenneth Niedermeier and Armando Rubio
This episode picks up on the very same day as the previous episode as they continue to walk around town. This time, issues have less to do with Kenneth trying new foods as they do with Armando’s understandable personal hang-ups.
Kenneth wants to hold hands
Armando declines, and this is such a complicated thing. Even in the bluest, safest cities in the US, same-sex couples holding hands in public can be targeted for harassment or violence. Armando worries that this particular area in Mexico could be even more dangerous.
But …
To Kenneth, this feels like a more personal rejection of affection and like a wavering. This is such a complicated topic for countless LGBTQ+ couples across the world, because homophobic violence could come at any time. Armando isn’t sure if he’ll ever be able to show his affection in public.
Armando has been afraid for a long time
His religious (specifically, Catholic) family isn’t the only reason that Armando has spent most of his life in the closet. Though Mexico passed marriage equality half a decade before it was the law of the land in the entire US, Armando notes that you never know when you could be targeted with homophobic violence — and they won’t always be followed by cameras and producers. He’s not wrong.
They have a talk
90 Day Fiance trivia on social media revealed that the two had previously hung out under this statue and Armando’s refusal to take a selfie under the colossal image of Jesus had led to an argument. This time, Kenneth got the selfie, but this was just part of the story.
Kenneth states his beliefs
He believes that being gay does not mean incurring any kind of divine condemnation — only the hatred of small-minded bigots. Armando is still coming out of his shell and was raised in a conservative Catholic family, so it’s hard for him to see things the same way. We know that, to outsiders, it’s easy to say “well if your religion thinks that you’re bad, get a new one that doesn’t,” but to people raised in homogenous environments, it can be SO hard to unlearn harmful messages that they have internalized.
Armando asks for patience
After all, Kenneth has been out as gay since he was 19 years old. And yes, you did the math correctly, he has been out for 38 years. That’s long than I’ve been alive. That’s longer than Armando has been alive. He has had nearly four decades to process how society and religions view him. Armando is going to need some time to reach that comfort level. He came out to his family, officially, only days earlier.
But for now …
Here, when they are not in view of random strangers, the two hold hands. These two are so sweet and their love is so genuine. It’s refreshing.
Brittany Banks and Yazan Abo Horira
Though most people would have told Yazan that his own behavior was a dealbreaker before even getting into that awful conflict with his parents, Brittany is still trying. Fans can only speculate as to what kind of dick game Yazan has that keeps Brittany willing to try to fix things.
It’s time to see his uncle
We first see his uncle Ibrahim smoking indoors. In scripted media, this would be to show him as a villain. On reality TV, it just means that he’s part of a different culture with different laws.
Yazan has a plan
He hopes that his uncle can intercede with his parents — mostly with his father — because he has been influential in the past.
Hello!
Brittany is mostly left out of this conversation and must rely upon Yazan to translate, which … well, you’ll see.
Yazan explains what happened
Though he (at least in this edit) leaves out some details, he talks about how furious his parents were that Brittany seemed to be making excuses to postpone the wedding. Of course, he doesn’t know that this is exactly what is happening, because she is trying to get a divorce from her ex. Secrets! Also, Yazan’s parents had issues with Brittany’s persona and lifestyle.
Ibrahim understands
“This is all new to your father,” he tells Yazan, noting that Yazan’s father is a much more culturally and religiously conservative man and likely never imagined that his son would marry even a convert, let alone a non-Muslim. And Brittany has not converted. Yazan seems hesitant to admit that Brittany has no intention to convert.
But that should be okay
Ibrahim emphasizes that it is forbidden to force Islam upon someone, that Brittany has to seek it for herself or not at all. We’re sure that Yazan’s father doesn’t see himself as violating this — simply requiring that his son marry a Muslim woman.
Ibrahim will help
He will sit down with Yazan’s father and speak with him to try to make peace. However, Yazan must explain it all to Brittany.
This part is so important
Knowing his nephew, Ibrahim emphasizes that Yazan has to tell Brittany EVERYTHING in his translation. Don’t gloss over anything. Don’t hold anything back because it might be upsetting. It seems that Ibrahim understands that Yazan has been dishonest with both sides in order to keep them happy, which is how this situation arose in the first place.
Ariela Weinberg and Biniyam Shibre
These two wake up in the guest house (a hotel, designed for foreign visitors). Ariela knows that it’s awkward staying in a hotel instead of the house that Biniyam had, with the best of intentions, prepared. But it was nice to have actual water pressure. Oh, and an actual shower.
Awwww
The two of them kiss, which is a great reminder that despite expectations not being met and some other concerns, these two do really care about each other — even though Biniyam cut his hair, which was nothing short of a tragedy.
Janice and Ariela take a tour
We know that it’s weird to see a pair of Americans tour another country’s hospital to see if it’s good enough to give birth in, but … it does make sense to inspect the place where you might give birth. Also, plenty of Americans do this in American hospitals. There are people whose whole jobs involve showing expecting couples the facilities that they will use if they give birth.
The hospital passes the inspection
Janice absolutely has some lingering concerns, but Janice — a nurse who is married to a doctor — found that the hospital was hygienic and met her expectations.
They stop by for some coffee
We’re sure that some viewers cringed at the idea of drinking coffee while pregnant, but guidelines say that SOME caffeine intake is fine for those who are pregnant.
Ariela will have the baby in Ethiopia
There is a lot to work out, such as living arrangements, but Ariela really wants for Biniyam to be there to witness the birth of their child.
They enjoy their coffee
However, Janice has some real concerns and some questions for Biniyam, though she phrases them very delicately.
Biniyam feels like he’s in the hotseat
Though Janice is polite and gentle, she lays out Biniyam’s personal history — having previously impregnated an American woman, come to America, and then divorced. Biniyam says that his ex-wife was jealous, but that her jealousy was unfounded, but it led to their divorce. We are so curious to hear more about that, possibly from others in the know. Biniyam says that his goal is to make enough to buy a house in Ethiopia.
Janice lays out the reality
Right now, he and Ariela are not really making enough to support themselves. Though it is implied that Ariela can likely count on support from her parents if she needs it, that is not a long-term solution. Janice asks Biniyam if he understands how much Ariela is giving up to be here with him, leading Ariela to ask Biniyam if he understand the word “privilege” as her mom uses it.
It’s complicated
Though it is said that Ariela and Biniyam’s story is exaggerated for viewers, if we take it at face value, Ariela is making a mistake. She could at least try to bring Biniyam to the US, where almost any house would meet her minimal living standards. If rumor is to be believed, that is the plan. It’s a more realistic plan than Biniyam supporting them in Ethiopia with his music career.
Tim Clarkson and Melyza Zeta
We’re still just getting to know these two, but Tim is arriving in Columbia soon and Melyza is admittedly both nervous and excited. Notably, the only person in her life who is excited to see Tim is her dad, because he is the only one who doesn’t know that Tim cheated on her.
Awwww!
They are reunited. Melyza is most visibly excited that Tim has brought their cat, but you know what? That’s relatable. I have friends who I love with every fiber of my being, but I greet the pets first. Also, the cat didn’t cheat on Melyza.
Awkward …
We have to keep in mind that Melyza spent hours in front of the camera with producers prompting her to say things and asking her questions. While it is unconscionably rude to discuss someone’s weight gain as a negative, reality TV lives for moments like these.
They go on a walk
Together, the two of them explore Medellin, admiring how colorful the city is.
Melyza even feeds Tim
It’s amazing how couples can fall back into patterns — in this case, sweet ones — when they are reunited, even when there are issues to sort out and discuss.
But they do need to talk
The two of them sit down with beers and discuss Tim’s infidelity, mostly because they have never talked about it on camera.
Tim had thought that he could keep it to mere flirtations
Melyza says that the moment that he invited his coworker to his house, he had to know that it would go beyond that. This is a very fair point. (Honestly, his cheating feels like a self-sabotage variety of cheating, which does make us hopeful for this couple’s future)
Tim isn’t sure if they can ever move past this
He may have ruined his best chance at happiness right now. So that’s a tough arrival … and he hasn’t even faced Melyza’s mom, yet.