90 Day Fiance: The Other Way is still bringing a mix of drama and cultural education to viewers … but mostly, it’s drama.
On Season 2, Episode 17, the biggest news for a few stars had less to do with their current loves and more to do with divorcing their exes.
Brittany is still back home in the US, but she wants Yazan to straighten up his act before she returns.
Jenny and Sumit are feeling amorous, but a dose of reality kills the mood as Sumit prepares for court.
Deavan accompanies Jihoon for an awkward day of work before his “surprise” for her crushes her dreams.
Kenneth and Armando bring Hannah back to her new home! But it’s a big adjustment for all of them.
Ariela and Biniyam return home to be greeted by a live goat that is killed in front of Ari, and that’s just the beginning of their drama.
Brittany Banks and Yazan Abo Horira
Brittany is still in the US, but has dared to do what most of us would not — traveled to Florida — because she missed her father and some of her friends. Though she and Yazan have not spoken as much recently, they are calling to check in.
Brittany Banks has bought herself some time
“Before I go back to Jordan for good, I told Yazan that he needed to show me that he’s an independent man and find a place for him and I, and he needs to make enough money to send me a plane ticket,” Brittany explains to the camera. She then admits: “Conveniently it has bought me the time I need because it is taking him some time to get all of that together, and my court date for my final divorce hearing is next week.”
Yazan misses her
His life has turned upside down and it’s unclear how much of that he has shared with her. So far, Brittany has been financing their life, but she wants him to prove to her that he is independent and can support her, so she wants him to rent an apartment for them and earn enough to pay for her ticket. Yazan is working as a taxi driver and as a barber. Brittany notes that she is accustomed to being treated to shopping sprees, but is not demanding this of Yazan.
A passing stranger compliments Brittany
It’s a compliment, not a catcall. It’s the sort of thing that would make most people feel good about themselves for the rest of the day.
Yazan flips out
He scolds her for wearing the dress that she’s wearing, shaming her for her outfit. This is not the first time that Yazan has flipped like a switch from lovey-dovey to controlling and scolding.
This did make us laugh
But for most people, this kind of behavior on his part — both controlling and sudden emotional shifts — would be at least a red flag if not a dealbreaker.
Brittany wants him to clean up his act
“Before I go back, Yazan has to show me that he’s mature and that he is not going to fall to the pressures of his parents and his family,” Brittany tells the camera.
Good news!
Two weeks later, she meets up with her friend on the beach. She has finally been granted her divorce.
But now she has mixed feelings
“Going through my divorce definitely stirred up a lot of emotions in me. I picked the wrong guy, and I don’t want to make that mistake again,” Brittany explains. Among other concerns is that Yazan is still telling his family one thing and her another, trying to keep both sides happy. “I fell in love with Yazan because I felt like he was so different,” Brittany details. “He portrayed himself to be a feminist, so I feel like that’s what I fell in love with, but that’s not what he’s given me.”
She’s worried about yet another ultimatum
“He thinks he’s going to give me an ultimatum of getting married and being a Muslim when I get there, but I’m going to give his ass an ultimatum,” Brittany says. “I need him to go to his parents and tell his parents that he’s his own man and he’s going to do what he wants to do. I’m not going to convert and we’re not going to get married right away. I need him to tell them that he’s going to live for his future wife and his future family or that’s it. If he can’t do that, then this is dead.”
Jenny Slatten and Sumit Singh
Sumit just got laid! He compliments Jenny on her energy and how dominant she was, which is possibly more than we needed to know, but yay, good for them.
It wasn’t just any old bang
See, Jenny was particularly pleased that Sumit had stood up to his parents (we’re all proud of him, I think) and was very turned on.
She also has something for him
It’s a promise ring — showing how committed she is to their future together.
Sumit doesn’t take it well
It’s unclear if he really understands what a promise ring is (that’s fair — even in the US, most of us associate them with toxic purity culture), but he turns down the gift, saying that he wants to “do it right” in terms of having a proper wedding ceremony. (That’s for wedding rings, not promise rings)
Jenny feels so rejected
More than anything, she is impatient for this divorce to be over with. Remember, she and Sumit have been an item for 6-7 years at the time when this was filmed, and she’s waiting for him to divorce a wife that she only learned about maybe a year ago. It’s a complicated situation.
Then …
Sumit and Jenny are preparing food when Sumit explains the next step in his divorce, which will involve going to court.
There are also criminal charges to handle
Sumit and Jenny explain that his wife, angry at him for leaving their arranged marriage to be with Jenny, falsely accused him of abuse. Now, we are only hearing one side of things, but certainly no one wishes to believe that Sumit committed an act of domestic violence.
Sumit hopes that it will go away
He knows that his wife has had a lot of anger towards him, but he hopes that time will change that. He hopes that she will withdraw the charges. Additionally, at present, he may be ordered to pay $500 a month “maintenance” towards her … which Jenny, who is supporting them on her social security, notes that they absolutely cannot afford.
Sumit goes to court
Accompanied by his friend, he goes to court — where the cameras cannot follow him.
Good news!
Sumit’s ex has withdrawn the charges against him and he will not have to pay the $500 per month maintenance to her. (We hope that this means that she is simply doing just fine financially, and not that she will be left single, stigmatized, and destitute)
Cause for celebration
At the same time, however, the two are very conscious of the fact that Sumit will need to convince his parents to accept his marriage. Otherwise, the two cannot have a legal union in India.
Deavan Clegg and Jihoon Lee
Take Your Wife To Work Day is not generally a thing, but we guess that production wanted to fill time or stir up drama or make Deavan look more controlling or whatever, because Deavan accompanied Jihoon to his job. He is no longer making deliveries but is working on used phones — legally, this time.
She meets his boss
It’s deeply awkward for everyone involved. Jihoon’s boss tells the camera that it’s not very common for a husband to bring his wife to work. That is common in Korea and the US.
Whoops
Also, he did not previously know that Jihoon used to have the criminal version of this exact job. Now he does!
But in general, it goes well
Deavan watches Jihoon on camera for however long producers wanted it to happen.
They have plans to make
Deavan and Jihoon had a small, traditional Korean wedding, but Deavan wants to have an American ceremony as well. Jihoon wants to surprise her, and reveals that he has already (through his parents) reserved a venue for this.
It’s, uh, not exactly what Deavan had hoped
For one thing, the ceremony lasts an hour, as this is a busy place — in the US, we might think of some sort of express wedding venue in Vegas working like this. The ceremony would start and end before noon. Oh, and Jihoon suggests that she rent the dress and the bouquet.
Yikes
Deavan explains that she does not want this, feels like Jihoon is doing her a disservice by setting this up by surprise without telling her — even if his intentions were to be helpful, and that this is not the fulfillment of her childhood dreams.
Kenneth Niedermeier and Armando Rubio
They take Hannah to her new home, and she marvels at her bedroom. It’s a little bare so far, with everything neatly packed away. It also has two beds, giving Hannah a choice in which one to sleep in. She picks the one close to her closet, so that she can be close to her toys.
Hannah explores
She is such a sweet little girl. It’s a huge transition moving away from her grandparents and her aunt and cousins but she is such a sweetheart.
Armando reads her a bedtime story
It’s all deeply awkward with the cameras rolling, but they roll with it (pun not intended), and Kenneth gives Hannah a goodnight hug.
The next day, they go out
Armando is feeling more and more like he’s taking care of two people — Hannah being a child, and Kenny not speaking any Spanish. He is clearly getting a little tired of translating everything, which is fair, and suggests that Kenneth could take Spanish classes. Kenneth admits that he hadn’t really imagined that the language barrier would be such an issue. Sometimes you have to remember that he is a nearly 60 year old white man, even if he looks much younger than that.
Hannah would like a treat
She very politely asks Armando if she can get something.
Kenny is amused
He notes that she has Armando wrapped around her little finger.
Armando bristles
He’s really, truly not looking for parenting feedback at the moment. This is a symptom of, well, the complexity of transitioning from being a single parent to remarrying.
He’s used to giving Hannah whatever she wants
Up to a point, that’s certainly not a bad thing — we all want children to be happy and to feel loved. Kenny and Armando resolve to settle into coparenting together.
Ariela Weinberg and Biniyam Shibre
Though Ariela is still recovering from her C-section and will continue her recovery for many weeks to come, it’s time to go home. “It’s so weird. I mean, I think I’ll be a good mom. I think I’m doing an OK job,” Ariela confesses at the hospital. “But if you ask me if I know what I’m doing, I have no idea what I’m doing.” Yep, that’s how parenting goes.
But they don’t have a car seat
The baby came early and the two were counting on Ariela’s parents bringing, well, virtually all of the baby supplies that they would need. Though Biniyam did get a few supplies while Ari was at the hospital, they do not have a car seat, and Ari is terrified of what could happen if they get into a car accident with their newborn.
Biniyam does not understand, but obliges
Biniyam does list the ways in which a walk home could potentially be more dangerous than riding in the car. Before fans swarm the couple with frothing hate for Ari, they have addressed this.
By the way
Ariela and Biniyam have already commented on this by way of Instagram — the traffic is extremely dangerous in that area, Biniyam only had to walk a few blocks, and the temperature is fairly moderate. Biniyam knows very well how important carseats are.
They arrive home
There are a whole bunch of people with burning sticks (possibly incense? it’s hard to tell since it looks different than what you would see in the US) and also a goat.
Ariela is surprised
Biniyam admits that she is surprised “because I didn’t tell her,” which is how surprises look. When someone is coming home from the hospital, do not surprise them, even if it’s just with a group of friends and a cake — sometimes, people just want to shower in their own shower and sleep in their own bed. Or at least do their hair before people see them.
Biniyam means well …
But his surprise for her is a goat, and it’s not a new pet. In front of her, they manhandle the terrified goat and then slaughter it. Ariela, who was in no way prepared for this and is not familiar with the tradition, is upset.
Biniyam explains
They slaughter goats as a welcome. Now, in most cultures, any sacrificed animal is also then eaten. But eating food and seeing it killed are very different things.
Biniyam is surprised by her reaction
Because this sort of thing is a matter of course in his culture, he didn’t think anything of it. He may not be thinking about the fact that most Americans have never witnessed the death of anything larger than a bird, and that this was a distressing thing for someone who has just given birth to see immediately upon returning home. ONCE AGAIN, these two need to communicate better with each other.
Then …
Biniyam’s aunts come to visit, making a celebratory vocal noise that seems to surprise Ariela (most Americans would associate that kind of cheer with Xena, so that’s fair).
They pepper Ariela with questions
They are eager for the baby’s baptism. Keep in mind that members of Biniyam’s family believe in a literal hell where an unbaptised baby would face literal eternal torment, so this isn’t simply a symbolic family event for them. Ariela does not share those beliefs, so she is uncomfortable.
Biniyam explains that it’s not possible
He previously visited a church where he was told that Ariela would have to convert and be baptised in order for the baby to be baptised. However, his aunts say that this is not true — that they can make arrangements to get the baby baptised without Ariela having to convert. Ariela is committed to making sure that her baby knows both sides of his heritage (being from an interfaith family herself), so she has mixed feelings about pledging her baby to his father’s faith. At the same time, she feels that the ritual itself is harmless and will make his relatives happy.
He’s so cute
The two have taken their time to settle on a name, largely because they each have their own ideas.
Aviel Biniyam Shibre is the name
Biniyam explains that he caves on this in the hopes that Ariela will go along with other things that he wants. These two really should have worked out all of this much earlier.
Ariela explains her misgivings
She does not want any talk about Hell at the christening/baptism. It was a breaking point for her and why she is Jewish (like her father’s side of the family) rather than Roman Catholic (like her mother’s side of the family). At the same time, she is still reluctant to pledge her baby to a faith that the baby knows nothing about, since it will one day be his choice what to believe.
Speaking of choices …
Ariela and Biniyam take Aviel for his first checkup, which will include a couple of vaccinations but also his circumcision. Ariela has tried to talk to Biniyam repeatedly about this, but says that he shuts her down or changes the subject every time.
Biniyam doesn’t see any other way to do it
Biniyam believes that circumcision is a matter of course, and thinks that Ariela is merely concerned about their son being in pain. While that’s a valid concern, her real issue is about his human rights and autonomy — performing a medically unnecessary cosmetic surgery upon an infant’s genitals robs him of a choice, and there is no way to reverse a circumcision. What if he, as many circumcised men have done, grows up to resent her for robbing him in this way? Biniyam does not understand. Part of this is due to limited exposure to other cultures. But we have to remember that many people, even in a place as diverse as the US, echo similar attitudes to his.
He changes the subject to … milk-shaming?
He wants to talk to Ariela about her diet and what kind of milk she is supplying to Aviel. Unless she is eating hot peppers or drinking alcohol and doing cocaine, her breast milk is fine and this was an awkward and controlling moment.
Ariela is torn about the circumcision
Her dad’s side of the family wants this, Biniyam and his family want this, the doctors and nurses expect it. Though 2/3 of the world is uncircumcised, there are three places where it is common — Africa, the Middle East, and the US (though circumcision numbers are in decline in the US). Biniyam does not have a global frame of reference for this and doesn’t see it as a big deal, and it doesn’t sound like Ariela has explained her side to him. At one point, he tells her “I’ll decide for you,” which does not go over well.
Then …
Ariela comes in and takes her baby from the table. She’s not letting them circumcise her son. Medical staff seem taken off guard. And even this won’t be the end of the drama for these two.