16 Things Ryan Lochte Definitely Would Do

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Ryan Lochte may be one of most successful swimmers in U.S. history. 

Yet his career is combusting before his eyes because due to a certain giant lie he told in Rio

Will he be able to fix his tattered reputation? Maybe.

But it's not as though misleading the public about getting robbed in Brazil was the first dumb thing he's ever done or said.

Just consider the following Ryan Lochte quotes, missteps and all-around lame behavior:

1. Rock Star!

Rock Star!
Ryan once Tweeted: "Everyone wants to be a Rockstar but no one wants to learn the chords!" This doesn't even make any sense. Maybe he's just trying his hand at having a quote someone will refer back to in a few hundred years, but this one will be for all the wrong reasons.

2. Jeah!

"Some times all u can say is jea jea jeah!!!!!!" Ryan sure is a fan of speaking gibberish on Twitter. He somehow turned this word into a catchphrase back in the day.

3. Silky Smooth!

Silky Smooth!
"I’ve ditched the razor for @GentleHairRemov! Three treatments and now I’m always #silkysmooth https://t.co/mhwil5ff0M #getgentle," Ryan posted to Twitter years ago. We know he loves his sponsorship deals, but doesn't this tweet just sound awful? Maybe if he sings the praises of the product much more, they won't drop him.

4. Hairy Situations

Hairy Situations
Lochte had dyed his hair all kinds of stupid colors. He once said the shade above was light blue. (Editor's Note: It's so not light blue.)

5. Long T-Shirt

Long T-Shirt
Remember that time he tried to make long T-shirts a thing? It didn't get the best reception.

6. Yuck!

Ryan once tried Espresso for the first time ever and said it was "yuck." That was wrong on so many levels and proves he is not to be trusted.

7. A Failed Reality Show

A Failed Reality Show
Remember when E! execs thought a reality show following the biggest douchebag in America would be a draw with viewers? It lasted one terrible season.

8. Gold Medal for Lying

Gold Medal for Lying
In August of 2016, Lochte claimed he was held up at gunpoint by robbers in Rio. This didn't actually happen. What DID happen? Lochte got wasted, vandalized a gas station and was told by gun-wielding security guards to pay for the damage he caused.

9. And a Gold Medal for Awful Interviewing

And a Gold Medal for Awful Interviewing
So Lochte proceeded to give multiple interviews and release multiple quotes as an attempt to cover up his lie. It didn't help that he never admitted to telling a total and complete lie.

10. Even Justin Bieber Thought This was a Dumb Idea

Even Justin Bieber Thought This was a Dumb Idea
In 2012, Ryan planned to have all of his family members' birth dates tattooed on his torso. We guess he actually realized at one point that this was a dumb idea.

11. TMI Much, Mom?!?

TMI Much, Mom?!?
"He goes out on one-night stands,” Lochte's own mother told Today.com in 2012. "He’s not able to give fully to a relationship because he’s always on the go." Hey, the dude is allowed to bang whomever he wants. But why does his mom know this information?!?!?!?

12. This Exchange Happened Once:

This Exchange Happened Once:
Interviewer: “[What’s] 7x4?” Lochte: “21.”

13. Will Anyone Accept His Rose?

Will Anyone Accept His Rose?
Lochte once campaigned to star on The Bachelor. Granted, the show would break ratings records if he landed this role. But still: What a loser!

14. What He Looks for in a Woman:

What He Looks for in a Woman:
Not brains, apparently. Asked about worst date ever by Cosmo, Lochte told the magazine: "We went out to dinner and she was a dud, she wasn’t funny, didn’t talk. If I asked her, 'So what do you do,’ she was like, 'I'm an accountant' — that's it. Just boring."

15. What a Cool Rule-Breaker!

What a Cool Rule-Breaker!
Is it lame that he once went 175 miles per hour in his car? Yes, but it's even more lame that he thought this was worth bragging about in a talk with Men's Journal.

16. Just Shut Up Already!

Just Shut Up Already!
Lochte named one of his dogs after Lil' Wayne and the other after Kanye West. We close our case.

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Ryan Lochte Biography

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Ryan Lochte is an Olympic champion. The swimmer defeated Michael Phelps in the 400 Individual Medley at the 2012 Summer Olympics and is... More »
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