29 WTF Quotes From Lena Dunham's New Book

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You need to read the whole thing to do it justice, but these 29 quotes sum up Len Dunham's new book pretty effectively.

1. Mmm. Delish

Lena dunham in marie claire

When I was nine, I wrote a vow of celibacy on a piece of paper and ate it.

When I was nine, I wrote a vow of celibacy on a piece of paper and ate it.

2. Adam Driver Rules

Lena dunham and adam driver

Most people’s jobs don’t consist of slamming your vagina against the flaccid, nylon-wrapped penis of a guy wearing massive amounts of foundation to conceal his assne.

Most people’s jobs don’t consist of slamming your vagina against the flaccid, nylon-wrapped penis of a guy wearing massive amounts of...

3. The Joys of Penis

Lena dunham in gif form

Intercourse felt, often, like shoving a loofah into a Mason jar.

Intercourse felt, often, like shoving a loofah into a Mason jar.

4. Magical Sexual Moments

Lena dunham butt selfie

I was sure I had already broken my hymen in high school while crawling over a fence in Brooklyn in pursuit of a cat that didn’t want to be rescued.

I was sure I had already broken my hymen in high school while crawling over a fence in Brooklyn in pursuit of a cat that didn’t want to...

5. A Teddy Bear With Boobs

Lena dunham in bed

I was being desexualized in slow motion, becoming a teddy bear with breasts.

I was being desexualized in slow motion, becoming a teddy bear with breasts.

6. Do What You Gotta Do

Lena dunham at the met gala

There I am, drunk on a spring night, yanking my tampon out and hurling it into a bush outside the church.

There I am, drunk on a spring night, yanking my tampon out and hurling it into a bush outside the church.

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Lena Dunham Quotes

My mother and I have a massive fight when I choose to wear a banana-printed belly shirt and pink leggings to the Vatican.

I am 20 years old and hate myself. My hair, my face, the curve of my stomach. The way my voice comes out wavering and my poems come out maudlin.