You need to read the whole thing to do it justice, but these 29 quotes sum up Len Dunham's new book pretty effectively.
1. Mmm. Delish
When I was nine, I wrote a vow of celibacy on a piece of paper and ate it.
2. Adam Driver Rules
Most people’s jobs don’t consist of slamming your vagina against the flaccid, nylon-wrapped penis of a guy wearing massive amounts of foundation to conceal his assne.
3. The Joys of Penis
Intercourse felt, often, like shoving a loofah into a Mason jar.
4. Magical Sexual Moments
I was sure I had already broken my hymen in high school while crawling over a fence in Brooklyn in pursuit of a cat that didn’t want to be rescued.
5. A Teddy Bear With Boobs
I was being desexualized in slow motion, becoming a teddy bear with breasts.
6. Do What You Gotta Do
There I am, drunk on a spring night, yanking my tampon out and hurling it into a bush outside the church.