Talk Of The Tabs 38485

Lindsay Lohan is out of rehab! Which means less Brangelina covers and more drunken shenanigans from everyone’s favorite child star. So far, Lohan’s still working that whole “I’m sober, for real this time!” angle, and giving “exclusive” interviews to both OK! and In Touch. We give her sobriety act two weeks, max.

In other news, JLo’s still undeniably pregnant, and Britney’s still continuing her downward spiral, only this time Justin is reaching out to save her.

But will he succeed? And is Lance Bass still embittered about being the least talented member of N’Sync? Intern Whitney answers all some of your questions, after the jump.

US Weekly
Cover: J.Lo is pregnant! … At least, according to US Weekly. And everyone with eyes. J.Lo’s mom is telling everyone the four-months-pregnant star is having twins, and if you don’t believe it, just ask TRL host Damien Fahey, who is apparently a pregnancy expert. (”I’ve been around a lot of pregnant women. … If I were a betting man, I’d definitely bet she was pregnant.”) Sold!
• “Brad and Angie battle the lies!” US claims, lashing out at the National Enquirer, In Touch and Life & Style for their “false” headlines. Because US never, ever runs a story that isn’t confirmed to be true (see above).
• Britney has reunited with her estranged mother and sister, US reports. That’s a positive step. A not-so-positive step? Applying to work as a bartender, which Brit also did, on Oct. 5.
• And because Intern Whitney spent her entire middle school career believing she would one day marry Lance Bass, we had to cover the exclusive interview US scored with the former member of ‘NSync (who recently announced that he is — as everyone told Intern Whitney 10 years ago — gay). In his new autobiography, “Out of Sync,” Lance says he felt “totally betrayed” when Justin Timberlake left the group to become a solo artist and says Britney and Justin’s relationship was “doomed” from the start because Justin is an ass. (We’re paraphrasing.)

In Touch
Cover: Ashlee Simpson is getting Botox. … At the age of 23. Also on the young star’s wish list? A boob job and tooth veneers, because she’s “always admired her older sister Jessica’s looks.” Fortunately, her plastic surgeon agrees.
• Lindsay Lohan’s finally out of rehab! We’ve missed you, Linds. And In Touch has an “exclusive” interview that Lindsay also gave to several other media sources. Basically, read any interview she gave after her first stint in rehab and that will give you the gist.

Life & Style
Cover: First off, the cover looks different. [Ed: Was the redesign necessary, considering the mag is folding so soon?] Regardless, L&S discusses the best and worst new bodies. Among the worst: Britney’s terrible triple-chin picture that has been featured in all the tabs over the past month and Courtney Love looking like an alien.
• To continue her trend of marrying the classy way, Pam Anderson wed Rick Salomon (the guy who is responsible for Paris Hilton’s sex tape) in Vegas over the weekend. Oh, and she might be pregnant … Good thinking, Pam! It’s always good to put the baby rumors out there just in case you need to fake a miscarriage.

Star
Cover: Hollywood stylists tell all: Jennifer Aniston has “too much hair down there!” Oprah Winfrey has a bunion that looks like a sixth toe! Kirsten Dunst has “vampire teeth and killer B.O.!” Courtney Love has hair on her chin! … This is just gross.
• More Britney rescue news, and this time Star reveals that Justin Timberlake and his mom are involved. The mag also says that Britney’s reconciliation with her mom is just a ploy to convince the judge she has changed. If only there were an easier way to get her kids back! Had the judge only given her a list of easy to follow requirements, like weekly drug tests and parenting coaches … Oh wait.

OK!
Cover: Britney Spears doesn’t care about her kids. Who knew? In fact, she acted like such a doting, loving mother before she was ordered to give them up that it’s almost shocking to hear that, when told not to worry about losing her two sons to Kevin Federline, Brit replied, “I don’t give a shit anymore. I never wanted them in the first place.”
• Another “exclusive” interview with Lindsay Lohan. Spoiler: She says exactly the same things she already told to In Touch.
• Dancing With the Stars backstage secrets! “Is Wayne [Newton] getting advice from beyond the grave?” “Does [Sesame Street puppet] the Count really add up the votes?” Sigh. It’s like they read our minds, and did then said “Fuck it, let’s just do it our way.”