New Rich Person Trend We Can’t Relate To

“In the marketing of Hala,” writes the New York Times, “nonbillionaires need not apply.”

Confused? So were we! Until we realized they were obvs talking about Hala Ranch, a sprawling 95-acre estate (with 15 bedrooms, 16 baths and “a private barbershop and beauty salon just off the master suite”) located just northwest of downtown Aspen, Colarado and built in 1991 for the family of Prince Bandar bin Sultan.

Which, for a paltry $135 million, could be yours! So it’s no wonder that broker Joshua Saslove has gotten a little, shall we say, “choosy.”

At $135 million, Hala, just northwest of downtown Aspen, is the most expensive single-family residential property in the nation on the market, Saslove said. Selling it mostly consists of saying no.

Mr. Saslove has received about 1,000 requests to tour the home since last October when it went on sale, and he, along with lawyers for the prince who review every call, have granted just 11 of them. This is what high-mountain hideaway money in Aspen has come down to: Even the ordinary rich can no longer press their noses to the glass.

We know what you’re thinking. It’s got to be pretty darn unsatisfying spending your days rejecting snotty millionaires for being too, what’s the word, bourgeoisie. But hey, someone’s gotta do it, right Josh?

Plus, unlike the rest of us tirelessly slaving away at our dead end jobs, our friend Saslove has a tiny little monetary incentive. Assuming he can finally seal the deal, Joshie stands to earn something to the tune of $8.1 million (based on a standard commission rate of 6%). Which is enough to turn anyone into an jerkfaced elitist snob.