Freelance Guide: How To Write For Slate 38161

Have you ever wanted to write for Slate? Well, getting published is simple. All you need to do is follow these simple steps:

1. Take conventional wisdom.
2. Prove why it???s wrong.
3. Add a dash of pop culture references for good measure.

Take Kent Sepkowitz???s piece on E. coli today. Conventional wisdom would say that shit in food is what makes Americans sick. But what if shit not in our food is what makes us sick?

Americans, on the other hand, grow up eating almost no shit at all. Our food is hosed and boiled and rinsed and detoxified and frozen and salted and preserved. Recently, we have begun to irradiate it, too???just in case. As a result, when our bodies encounter the occasional inevitable bug, they’re unhappy. Our centuries-long program of winnowing out all the muck has turned us into sissies and withered the substantial part of the immune system mediated by our intestinal tract.

God, that makes so much sense. Excuse us while we go eat some excrement to prepare ourselves for a chance encounter with a spoiled beef patty.