• Incarcerated diva Foxy Brown reportedly insists on accessorizing her prison jumpsuit with designer footwear. Next up for the snotty Rikers inmate: A tattoo on her forehead that says “Rape me in the shower, please!”
• Apparently, the gays don’t really care much for former fatty Mike Huckabee. Then again, they’re just a bunch of dirty HIV carriers who should be isolated from society and summarily destroyed.
• Watch this crappy montage of Neel Shah unsuccessfully hitting on a barrage of women! Because, in a way, there’s nothing funnier than a silly man in a Mr. Rogers’ cardigan attempting to brand himself as an ethnic Lothario.
• Meanwhile, watch as these stock photographs of Amy Winehouse awkwardly spliced together to the tune of “Love is a Losing Game” tell the story of small, strangely coiffed woman who can’t be trusted to breathe, speak or move on her own.
• This boring lead in today’s Page Six is noteworthy, if only because it introduces the phrase “Canine-crazed Ellen DeGeneres” into the English vernacular.
• Should Rupert Murdoch be Time’s Person of the Year? Yes! says the completely unbiased Wall Street Journal.
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