Coming Soon: Another New Show Starring Perennial Writer-Slash-Bed Hopper Carrie Bradshaw 38064

Although the 90’s are behind us – as are, thankfully, the giant flower-broaches, the gold-plated name necklaces and the throngs of Midwestern tourists flocking to the Meatpacking District for “one of those Cosmo’s” – it seems the “empowering” shows (about aging female executives trying to balance their lives, careers and insatiable appetite for casual sex) are still very much upon us.

And who’s the man to blame? That would be producer Darren Star, currently known as “the producer most likely to try and replicate his success with Sex and the City“.

For starters, there’s his upcoming ABC drama, Cashmere Mafia (which network execs are touting as “a compelling, intimate and unflinching look at an ensemble of high-powered women whose most valuable assets are their friendship and their willingness to have it all – without giving an inch???) and now comes word of a new HBO show called Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl.

‘Great,’ we thought, ‘another self-absorbed writer type chronicling her own sexual inadequacies and parlaying her daily minutiae into fleeting B-grade celebrity.’ We know you’re in some sort of weird fight with former bestie/SATC author (and the “inspiration” behind Carrie Bradshaw), and as a result, you’re obsessed with making a fortune creating slutty postmodern feminists in her image or whatever. But seriously, “Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl???”

Next time, why not just tape a neon sign to the girl’s forehead that reads “Candace Bushnell?”