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First They’re Running Restaurants, Next Thing You Know, Black People Are Going To Want To Start Riding In The Front Of The Bus

• Bill O’Reilly is stunned to discover that blacks are capable of running a restaurant, serving food other than Popeye’s fried chicken.

• If Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (a.k.a. “A-Jad”) were an American, we’re guessing he’d be supporting the G.O.P.

• And speaking of gay, Stephen Colbert is on hand to remind us of the hidden danger of baby carrots.

From US: “Lindsay Lohan’s Rep Denies Lohan’s Involvement In Divorce.” Well that’s silly, of course poor Lindsay wasn’t to blame for her parents’ —oh, this is about Tony Allen? Yeah, that was all her.

• CNN finds non-working comedians to provide unfunny solutions to real world problems.

Sep 24, 2007 · Link · Respond

Last week Reuters had its revenge on CNN for dropping its wire service by withholding the Osama Bin Laden video. But it was really CNN that shot itself in the foot. I-Report, the news service that uncovered the tape, offered the tape to CNN before Reuters. CNN just never replied to their email. Awkward. [Inside Cable News]

Sep 18, 2007 · Link · Respond

Reporting Live From CNN, Of Course! Or Working Out At Equinox

A story in today’s Variety asserts that “CNN is permanently shifting to taped programming for the second hour of Anderson Cooper 360.” And just when we started panicking about what we’d do without our daily 120-minute live Anderson fix, CNN spokesperson Christa Robinson emerges out of nowhere to dismiss that report as “flat wrong.”

AC360 continues to be a two hour program from 10 to midnight,” says Robinson. “At 11pm, Anderson reports live for 10-15 minutes and stays live as news warrants.” And it stands to reason that yesterday, there simply wasn’t very much news, presumably because it was the first night of Rosh Hashanah and the media’s still run by the Jews.

In any event, however, we’re relieved. For one thing, we just sort feel more comfortable knowing where Anderson is after dark. And for another, we just can’t seem to shake the feeling that CNN and Anderson Cooper tapes just don’t mix.

Sep 13, 2007 · Link · Respond

The CNN chatfest The Situation Room often features John Feehery as a Republican Strategist. And by ???Republican Strategist,??? CNN really means ???Republican Lobbyist;??? Feehery has his own corporate lobbying firm in DC. Strategist, lobbyist, who can tell the difference?

But Feehery is also the official lobbyist for the News Corporation???you know, the company that owns Fox News, CNN???s competitor.

The ethical lapse is no surprise, but the lack of financial acumen really hurts.

Sep 11, 2007 · Link · Respond

CNN Changes Its Slogan From ‘The Most Trusted Name In News’ To ‘Last To Know’

Seven days after CNN/Time Warner ended its 27-year relationship with Reuters, the wire service obtained exclusive footage of the latest videotape released by Osama bin Laden. As a result, FNC and MSNBC beat CNN by over 30 minutes, showing the grainy video on endless loop before CNN finally got their hands on the tape…by striking a deal with Al Jazeera. [NYT]

Sep 10, 2007 · Link · Respond

Two weeks ago, Anderson Cooper shot a Hurricane Katrina special in New Orleans. Last week, CNN called Cooper up while he’s vacationing to inform him they’d lost the tapes and demand that he fly back immediately and reshoot. A justifiably pissed Cooper was overheard to complain, “Great, now I’ll never get a tan.” [P6]

Sep 4, 2007 · Link · Respond

We thought we saw the Best Headline Ever on Us Weekly’s website yesterday. But that was until we saw this one on CNN this morning:

“Clerks lick veggies in rap video; A&P sues.”

Game, set, match: CNN.

Aug 30, 2007 · Link · Respond

Against Christiane Amanpour?

Christiane Amanpour’s much-hyped series God’s Warriors ??? where CNN’s graphics team was asked to throw together a Star of David, a cross, and a crescent moon to create some sort of lattice pattern ??? pulled in plus-or-minus 2 million viewers on each of its three airdates last week. Among those viewers? MSNBC chief Dan Abrams, who, we’re hearing, is dedicating at least part of his show tonight to tear Amanpour apart. Something about her whole special being anti-Christian, anti-Jew, AND anti-Muslim.

Oh please let guests make mild anti-Semitic remarks so we can grab a YouTube clip tomorrow.

Aug 27, 2007 · Link · Respond

Related: Gonzales Confirms His Resignation, But Admits He ‘Can’t Remember’ Whether Or Not It Has To Do With The Senate Judiciary Hearings

From NYT: “Embattled Attorney General Resigns Gonzales Made Call to President Bush on Friday.”

If true (and its already on Wikipedia so it just might be!) this means Gonzales will be joining the ranks of departing White House Press Secretary Tony Snow and the recently retired election winner/regime ruiner Karl Rove, a.k.a. co-founders of the “Let’s get the hell out of here” club.

And while the official reason for Gonzalez’s resignation is still unclear (unfortunately for Gonzales, Rove already invoked the “I’m leaving to spend more time with my son, and thereby ruin his freshman year of college” excuse) we’re almost certain this has little or nothing at all to do with that whole “dismissal of U.S. attorneys” controversy Gonzales reportedly knows remembers nothing about.

One thing we do know? CNN is only just now picking up the story. Presumably from Wikipedia, who’s had it up since approximately 8am.

Aug 27, 2007 · Link · Respond

We’re hearing openly gay – which must be mentioned, of course – former CNN anchor Thomas Roberts, whose torso makes us swoon, has inked a contributor deal with CBS Paramount’s The Insider and/or Entertainment Tonight.

What with E!’s Ryan Seacrest and Marc Malkin, plus Extra’s Mark McGrath, tabloid TV is becoming a gay teen’s haven.

Aug 23, 2007 · Link · Respond

It takes a village of mouthpieces (and lawyers)

On Tuesday, we had a burning desire to find out who Susan Bass is. She’d been speaking to the press on behalf of dog fighting connoisseur Michael Vick, with outlets like the Washington Post calling Bass his “publicist.” Bass is not Vick’s PR person, in fact, but communications chief for Vick’s football team, the Atlanta Falcons.

But as we noticed yesterday, it wasn’t Bass handling Vick’s press treatment, but Collins Spencer III, who told CNN “nothing has been decided yet” in regards to Vick copping a plea deal.

So begs the question: Who’s this guy?


Aug 16, 2007 · Link · 4 Responses

Every time we tune into Dateline’s pedophile series, we wonder two things: 1) Is Esquire’s argument that NBC should cancel the show before someone else winds up dead a valid stance?; and 2) Can this type of programming survive without Chris Hansen?

At least CNN can answer that second one.

Aug 14, 2007 · Link · 1 Response

At Fox News, the studio’s fire alarm went off during Shep Smith’s live broadcast. CNN’s elevators weren’t working. And CBS’s staff at the The Early Show was forced to evacuate. Maybe there is a God?

Aug 9, 2007 · Link · Respond

Nancy Grace and CNN want a judge to dismiss the wrongful death lawsuit brought by the family of Melinda Duckett, the woman who killed herself after Nancy grilled her on the show about the woman’s missing son.

After all, there’s no guilt to be had for nearly labeling a grieving mother a murderer when it happens during the course of an interview. [AP]

Aug 9, 2007 · Link · 1 Response

Now that Paula Zahn is gone from CNN, so is her executive producer Victor Neufeld. A source says the former Early Show and 20/20 producer is leaving the network after making “significant contributions to the demise of Paula Zahn Now.” Clearly, an objective observation.

Update: Counters a CNN spokesperson: “Victor is not going anywhere. He is highly regarded here at CNN. There have been no decisions on staffing for Campbell Brown’s upcoming show.” Hmmm. Who even mentioned Campbell Brown’s show?

Update 2: Emphasizes a source: Neufeld isn’t gone immediately, but will be leaving at a “date to come.” Funny, too, ’cause when we heard Paula Zahn was being eased out the door, CNN flacks had a similar denial they shared at the time.

Aug 6, 2007 · Link · Respond