• Heather Mills apparently has recordings of Paul McCartney and his daughter Stella referring to her as a “one-legged bitch.” Which kind of makes sense considering (a) she’s actively trying to extort McCartney out of his money, (b) only has one leg and (c) was bitchy enough to go around taping her soon-to-be-ex-husband in preparation for the upcoming divorce settlement.
• Paris Hilton has lipstick in her teeth. Yikes! Clearly, this is, like, the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to her mouth since Joe Francis.
• Jessica Simpson is determined to beat out Kazaam, John Tucker Must Die and Malibu’s Most Wanted for the title of Worst Movie Ever Made.
• You’d think someone who’s no stranger to racking up moving violations (and who has no problem spending $16K/month on overweight stripper outfits) wouldn’t be opposed to shelling out another couple grand for a chauffeur. Apparently, you’d be wrong.
• This woman doesn’t really have what you would call cinematic expertise. But she looks a hell of a lot better in sexy lingerie than Roger Ebert.
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