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• Lifelong bachelor George Clooney neatly curtails rumors that he’s a closeted homosexual by getting into a bitchy catfight with Fabio.

• There’s no afternoon pick-me-up quite like a NSFW gallery of the best celebrity wardrobe malfunctions.

• Katie Holmes wardrobe choices continue to shock and amaze. (Marathon? No bra necessary. Clingy velvety get-up? Mandatory.)

• Note to Elisha Cuthbert: You’re going to need to invest in a slutty new wardrobe if you want to keep hanging with Paris.

• Michael Jackson’s precious Neverland ranch is in foreclosure! Buyers beware, however: The place still has the unmistakable stench of zoo animals and pedophilia.