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You’ll notice that in this gallery of Jessica Simpson fashion statements, the outfits seem to have one thing in common. Sometimes two things, but there is a theme.

Let’s just say Joe Simpson knows how to sell records.

Seriously, this is how you stay relevant for a decade and counting despite no discernible trace of talent. Wow. This is high fashion at its finest, ladies and gentlemen.

Click to enlarge the Jessica Simpson pictures below and gasp in awe at some of the alleged singer’s style choices. NOTE: We don’t recommend doing so in public.