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• Bert and Ernie get some aural action, reenact the infamous De Niro/Pesci argument from Casino. Next up: A muppets-only reenactment of Prodigy’s heartwarming classic, “Smack My Bitch Up.”

• Gisele Bundchen rocks a dress made entirely out of water prompting a jealous Jessica Stam to snipe, “Evian, that’s so last season.”

• Jessica Simpson pretends to be a washed-up star with a major drinking problem. Yep, we can’t for the life of us imagine who she’s channeling for inspiration.

• Rachael Ray earned $500 million for teaching mentally challenged people how to prepare peanut butter and jelly sandwiches??

• We can’t decide which part of the Oscar De La Hoya cross-dressing story we like the best. The part where his publicist panics, and pleads the unconvincing Photoshop defense (”His head???s too small and it doesn???t even look like his body”) or the part where a Scores stripper details De La Hoya’s proclivity for wearing thigh-highs and “pretending to be a girl on the back of motorcycle.”