Ivy League Admissions To 99.9% Of Applicants: ‘Aim Lower.’ 36702

In today’s newest Times exposée, we learn that Ivy League rejects from coast to coast are being forced to focus their sights on (gasp!) second-tier colleges. And, once they get over their initial horror/humiliation of being waitlisted at Brown, the underachieving pre-frosh are actually kinda psyched about settling for their safeties!

Turns out their name-dropping parents aren’t quite as good at coping, though.

???My sense is that parents are a lot more concerned with how the name is going to look to neighbors and family members, and there is a real sense among parents that it???s almost embarrassing if your child has to settle for a lower-level school,??? said Carolyn Lawrence, a private college counselor and the author of a blog, AdmissionsAdvice.com.

Naturally, we tend to agree with Carolyn, because (a) Pomona sweatshirts are nice, but they’re not to be confused with Harvard sweatshirts, and (b) she authors a blog. And while our hearts go out to those disappointed moms and pops, we encourage them to hold their heads high.

Sure, your sons and daughters ended up at small, artsy colleges instead of the all-powerful Ivies, but they can always try and transfer, right?? Plus, there’s still grad school to think about. And we hear University of Phoenix online is the new Johns Hopkins!