Lee Rosbach has spoken out for the first time about every parent's worst nightmare.
The Below Deck star has given an interview in which he discusses the death of his son, Joshua.
As reported in July, the ship captain and reality star lost this child to an accidental overdose just a few months ago.
And, as you might obviously expect, Rosbach is still dealing with unimaginable pain in regard to the tragedy.
“I deal with it every day. I hate going to sleep, and I hate waking up. There’s a hole there that can’t be filled,” the Below Deck star told the New York Post’s Page Six on Saturday, October 12.
He continued, holding nothing back:
"And the person who said, ‘time heals all wounds,’ is full of it. It doesn’t. The only thing that time may do for you is allow you to learn the skills you need to cope with the situation that you’re dealing with.
"As parents, you’re not designed to bury your children.”
Joshua battled addiction for over 20 years prior to his passing.
He was found dead this summer at his home in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
Lee, horrifically, was the person who found his son's body.
“I walked in and he was sitting on the sofa with his head in his hands, and I thought he had just passed out. I felt relieved. I thought he was fine,” Lee told the publication, adding:
“Then I went over to give him a hug, and he was cold. He’d gone."
Just incomprehensible all around.
Despite his son's aforementioned substance abuse issues, the reality TV personality added that he thought Josh was doing well before his untimely passing.
“He had a DUI conviction about 12 or 13 years ago that he finally got off his record. He’d got himself a car. He was working,” said Rosbach. “We thought we might have hit a milestone.”
Lee went on to note how he and his family (the captain has four other children) aren't alone; thousands of people are lost to drug addiction every year.
He plans to help fight the opioid epidemic, but is still searching for the right opportunity:
“I don’t want to start something, then not be able to finish it," Rosbach says.
Joshua had been off painkillers and heroin for about six months when he died.
Medical examiners told the family that Josh had relapsed and bought pills that appeared to be prescription opioids ... but were in fact counterfeits, laced with five different substances including cocaine, heroin and the incredibly powerful, lethal drug Fentanyl.
“There’s a lot of guilt that comes with something like this. What if I’d gone over to his house sooner? What if I’d done this? What if I’d done that? I should have made his life easier,” Lee said.
“So you carry around a tremendous amount of guilt. And then you have to stop and realize that you can’t prevent the inevitable.”
We send our very best wishes to Lee Rosbach and his loved ones.