Way back in the year of our Lord two thousand and thirteen, a young former Disney star named Miley Cyrus was looking for a way to cut ties with her squeaky clean past.
And she saw a golden opportunity during the 2013 VMAs.
Yes, we've reached the point where some of our younger readers may not even remember Miley twerking all over Robin Thicke as a horrified crowd looked on.
They also may not remember that at this time, bigotry and supervillainy were just side-projects for Donald Trump, and not his primary reasons for being.
What do these two factoids of the Obama years have to do with one another?
Well, in a newly-published interview with Vanity Fair, Cyrus reveals that Trump called her at her hotel in New York the morning after her now-infamous performance to tell her how much he enjoyed every racy moment.
"I loved it," Miley recalls the Donald saying.
She was unable to quote him further all these years later, but we're sure the Donald went on to creepily overuse all his favorite adjectives like "beautiful," "fabulous," and "amazing."
"And now he’s our president,” Cyrus added.
From there, Miley went on to reveal that she never intended to flee the country if Trump got elected, as she stated during the 2016 campaign.
Instead, she merely hoped to impress upon her fellow Americans the severity of the situation.
“You know, I said I would move away if he became president. We all said a bunch of sh-t we didn’t mean," Miley said.
“Because we really thought: Maybe people will listen. Maybe people actually realize how detrimental this will be to our fucking country if this happens."
"Obviously they didn’t. But for me to move away—what the f-ck is that going to change?
"As someone who is so proud of being an activist, am I going to feel proud of myself just running away from, and leaving everyone else here to live under, a completely racist, sexist, hateful assh-le? You can’t leave everyone else to fend for themselves.”
But hey, it's not all doom and gloom.
Miley got married to Liam Hemsworth on New Year's Eve, and she says she's the happiest she's ever been.
So hey, if sh-t really hits the fan it should be easy for Miley to high-tail it to Australia!