It's been almost four months since Meghan Markle married Prince Harry in a ceremony that inspired Ashleys the world over to make the ill-fated decision to wear a fancy hat to brunch the next day.
Naturally, the rumors about Meghan being pregnant with Harry's baby began almost immediately after the ceremony, but thus far, there's been no official announcement from Buckingham Palace.
Obviously, there's nothing remotely unusual about a couple that's been married less than four months being childless, but since Meghan is 37, and she and Harry have both spoken publicly about wanting to raise a large family, it was widely assumed they'd get right down to the business of making babies.
At thisn point, it seems Meghan remains un-knocked up, but she's hoping to change that soon -- and sources say she's turned to her sister-in-law for advice.
“Meghan has been getting baby making tips from all her friends with kids, including Duchess Kate," one insider tells Hollywood Life.
"Kate told her to drink more tea. That was her big piece of advice. She’s embraced all the British traditions and has started drinking tea at tea time.”
Well, if that isn't the most British reproductive advice in history!
Of course, Kate said to drink effing tea!
Meghan, being a grown-ass woman, probably came to her sister-in-law asking advice and expected Kate to suggest a position or something.
Instead, she gets told to bust out her doilies and get sippin'.
"I say, the Queen Mum used to maintain that a spot of Earl Grey will fill your belly with the very pastiest of heirs," Kate probably said, clutching her pearls at this American's effrontery.
The crazy part is, it seems Meg is actually listening to Kate's advice:
“She’s not really sure if it will make any difference in helping her get pregnant, which she’s very graciously following Kate’s advice," says the source.
We hope she at least put an American spin on the situation and started guzzling 99 cent cans of Arizona.
Fortunately, Kate's not the only one offering Meghan conception tips.
It seems the Duchess of Sussex has also been in touch with her friends back on this side of the pond, who have been a bit more helpful in their advice.
“Her friends in Toronto are more holistic minded, so they’ve offered tips like practicing more yin style yoga and doing a nightly meditation," says the insider.
"Meghan’s not obsessing about getting pregnant, but she’s very open to everyone’s ideas. She’s a naturally curious person, so she loves learning what worked for her friends when it comes to their fertility.”
That's good, because so far her friends are offering lame-ass advice that has nothing to do with putting the old peener in the va-jay-jay.
We kid, of course. The Duke and Duchess probably don't need much advice on that part of the process:
“Meghan and Harry are enjoying non-stop baby-making sex at all hours of the day," says the insider.
"Meghan has an app on her phone that tracks of her fertility, so when she is most likely to conceive.
"That means in the mornings, afternoons and at night, they make time for love with a baby being the goal…and Harry is not complaining at all. There may not be a bun in her oven yet, but they are having fun trying.”
That sound you just heard was everyone in England over the age of 50 gasping in unison at such frank talk of a royal's sex life.