Well, folks, it’s really happening.
The big day is almost here, and royal obsessives all over the world are downright giddy with anticipation.
We’re talking, of course, about the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.
The couple will exchange vows one week from Saturday, and the eyes of the world will be watching.
Of course, most of us will be forced to view the proceedings in HD, but a lucky few – roughly 600, by last estimate – have been invited to witness the ceremony firsthand.
Several members of Meghan’s family were snubbed, including her sketchy, opportunistic half-siblings.
(Their outraged reactions served as a potent reminder that Meg made the right call.)
Markle’s beloved parents, however, will be in attendance, and her mother just touched down in London last night.
Doria Ragland is a 61-year-old yoga instructor, and apparently, she’ll be staying with Harry and Meghan at Kensington Palace in the week leading up to the wedding.
"Ms. Markle is delighted to have her parents by her side on this important and happy occasion,” the Royals’ press secretary said in a statement issued this week.
“Prince Harry and Ms. Markle are very much looking forward to welcoming Ms. Markle’s parents to Windsor for the wedding."
Because the statement was apparently written on an especially-long parchment, it went on to explain that along with Meghan’s father, Thomas Markle, Ragland will be spending a lot of time with her new son-in-law’s family over the next week:
"Mr. Thomas Markle and Ms. Doria Ragland will be arriving in the U.K. in the week of the wedding, allowing time for Prince Harry’s family, including The Queen, The Duke of Edinburgh, The Prince of Wales, The Duchess of Cornwall and The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, to spend time with them before the big day," the statement concludes.
Sounds like a high-pressure situation.
It’s always stressful meeting your daughter’s fiancé’s family for the first time, but knowing one of them is literally the freakin’ Queen of England probably makes things a bit more tense.
What do you even talk to these people about if you’re a yoga instructor from America?
"So … um, you folks still doing that whole colonialism thing, or is that not cool anymore?"
Hopefully, Prince Philip will get drunk and start telling knock-knock jokes to ease the tension.
There’s one in every family.