Well, it looks like we officially have confirmation of your aunt Irene’s theory that Barbra Streisand is, in fact, God.
Okay, maybe not God exactly, but apparently Bab’s wealth and macabre disdain for the impermeable boundary between life and death enables her to play God:
In a newly published interview with Variety, the iconic singer harvested mouth and stomach cells from her beloved 14-year-old Coton du Tulear, Samantha, just prior to the dog’s death in November of 2017.
She then had the late pooch cloned, and is now the proud owner of two perfect genetic replicas named Miss Violet and Miss Scarlett.
Streisand tells the magazine that she initially dressed the pooches in purple and red, respectively, in order to tell them apart.
Apparently, she felt this story wasn’t creepy enough without such oddly unsettling details.
“They have different personalities,” Streisand tells Variety of the dogs.
“I’m waiting for them to get older so I can see if they have her [Samantha’s] brown eyes and seriousness.”
We assume the dad from The Munsters tried to talk Streisand out of the Pet Sematary-like procedure, but apparently, Babs couldn’t be dissuaded.
She compares the death of Samantha with the loss of a child, which again serves to further creep-ify an already seriously creepy story.
“She was always with me; the last 14 years she went everywhere I went,” Streisand told the Associated Press following Samantha’s death late last year.
“She was at every performance. It was like losing a child. It was kind of awful.”
Streisand says she’s commissioned a portrait of herself posing with Miss Violet and Miss Scarlett.
She’s titled it “Send In the Clones,” a reference to her 1985 cover of Stephen Sondheim’s ‘Send In the Clowns.”
Look, we understand the pain of losing a pet, but this is some next-level Crazy Rich People Sh-t, right here.
If it turns out there’s something weird about these dogs, like they never die and they turn more evil with age and they wind up signaling the start of a zombie dog apocalypse, we’ll have no one but Barbra Streisand to blame.
But come to think of it, that’s actually a pretty appropriate way for the world to end, so we’re cool with it.