Farrah Abraham has had a hell of a week.
Just think: she woke up on Monday morning expecting to masturbate for strangers on the internet, but instead she ended up getting fired from a reality show about the aftermath of teen pregnancy.
Honestly, haven't we all been there?
In a truly bizarre Instagram post she shared on Tuesday, she explained that "Viacom let me go because as a Business Mogul I act like an adult and part take in adult promotions and activities that other adults do for FREE or in private!"
To translate, she claimed she was fired from Teen Mom OG because of her continued involvement in the sex industry.
Farrah also wrote that it was "sad" that "such a phenomenal show will no longer have its biggest talent on the show because of women hating, sex shaming, hate crimes, selfish, Weinstein company power trip behaviors against a professional hard working, honest mother."
She said that she is proud of herself for "not giving in to be sex shamed by Viacom network" and to not have a network take away financial opportunities for my goals."
Like always, it was hard to understand exactly what she was trying to communicate, but it seemed like she was saying that she was given an ultimatum: do porn or do Teen Mom, but not both.
After her rant, sources came forward to explain that while the sex stuff is definitely an issue, so is Farrah's personality.
So many people dislike her, from Teen Mom fans to the poor MTV crews who have to work with her to make Teen Mom.
It's all been very scandalous ... but here's a plot twist!
In a new message Farrah has shared across all of her social media platforms, as well as in one amazingly nonsensical video she posted on YouTube, she's now saying that she wasn't fired at all.
In the video, she says that according to Viacom's legal team, "I have not been let go, I have not been fired."
... Wait, what?
Was she lying about being fired? Was MTV lying? Was the whole thing just made up to get some publicity for the upcoming season of Teen Mom OG?
It's hard to say, because literally nothing Farrah says in this video makes any sense.
At one point, she did refer to "all the accomplists" -- we think she's trying to say "accomplices," but who can say? -- "who are associated with 'fake firing' me ... for the gain of your own press."
So it sort of seems like she's insinuating that someone pretended to fire her to get people talking? Maybe?
Later in the video, she says that she doesn't need producers, that she can produce herself. She'd be fine with a scripted show or an actual reality show, but the way so many things are "faked" now bothers her.
Going forward, she says that either the production company can change, or she'll "turn them in."
"I will not be sex-shamed," she insists. "I will not be verbally sexually assaulted, I will not deal with any Weinstein company behaviors of power trips, manipulation, with all these accomplices around, trying to screw over talent, manipulate talent."
"Don't even waste a penny ordering Teen Mom anything," she tells viewers, "because it's not credible, it's all fake, it's all contrived, and it's hurting real human beings. Real children. Real mothers."
She accuses the people behind the show of committing "hate crimes" against all the Teen Moms, that they instigate fights and manipulates people and situations to get good footage.
She actually throws the whole "hate crimes" thing around a lot, which is a little funny and also a little sad.
In the caption of the video, she does claim that she was "INTERROGATED IN HER OWN HOME" and told that she was fired "SO SHE CAN CHOOSE TO DO HER WEBCAM PROMOTON OR FILM TEEN MOM?"
So apparently she was given an ultimatum -- it sounds like she hasn't officially been fired, since she didn't go through with her latest "webcam promoton," but that she's not really sure about her future with the show.
Will she follow her principles and refuse to continue filming if the crew continues their hate crimes?
Will she suck it up and keep doing the show to get that sweet, sweet Teen Mom money?
Only time -- and what's shaping up to be an incredible season of Teen Mom OG -- will tell.