The following story stinks.
Some might say it’s a crapshoot.
Pop a squat, however, and we’ll tell you all about it…
According to KTTV, a woman in Colorado Springs has earned the nickname “The Mad Pooper” because she keeps defecating on the front lawn of the same family on a near-daily basis.
Cathy Budde tells this affiliate that her children once caught this woman jogging by the family’s home and relieving herself right then and there.
Much to everyone’s shock, awe and disgust.
Budde says, adding in the news story below:
"They are like, ‘There’s a lady taking a poop!’"
"So I come outside, and I’m like, ‘Are you serious? Are you really taking a poop right here in front of my kids!?’ She’s like, ‘Yeah, sorry!’"
You cannot make this stuff up.
It didn’t seem to be an impromptu, emergency poop, either.
The jogger had paper towels with her to wipe and left them at the scene.
This gross incident has apparently happened seven times to date.
Budde explains that there’s a portable toilet at nearby John Venezia Community Park, along with a gas station pretty close by that has a bathroom.
There are perfectly suitable places for The Mad Pooper to drop trou that doesn’t involve her front lawn.
"I put a sign on the wall that’s like, ‘Please, I’m begging you, please stop’ … She ran by it like 15 times yesterday," Budde says.
"And she still pooped!"
Several other residents told the local outlet that The Mad Pooper has been doing her random, inappropriate across the town, in backyards and even on front of drug stores.
She evidently has no shame.
Or fear of getting caught.
This woman could face charges of indecent exposure and public defecation for indecently exposing herself and publicly defecating, police told KKTV.
But first they need to catch her.
And this is proving to be a challenge for law enforcement.
"For someone to repeatedly do such a thing … it’s uncharted territory for me," Sgt. Johnathan Sharketti of the Colorado Springs Police Department says.
Of course, the most surprising part of this story isn’t that a woman is simply pooping on someone’s lawn on a frequent basis.
It’s that this isn’t a Florida Woman who is doing the pooping.
If you have any information on The Mad Pooper’s identity, please pass it along to someone in the Colorado Springs Police Department.
This person has to be brought to justice.