To open the second part of the Bachelor in Paradise premiere, Chris Harrison told viewers this was a "very important episode."
In the end, however, most fans thought it was a lot closer to a very lame and scripted episode.
On Monday night, of course, Season 4 kicked off with Corinne Olympios and DeMario Jackson getting very close and cozy in a pool after downing a few drinks.
This installment concluded on a quasi cliffhanger, as producer asked to speak to Corinne and DeMario and we watched as contestants looked on in confusion.
Would the season actually be canceled?
Would charges of sexual assault be brought against Jackson for what transpired in that pool?
No, we knew weeks ago that Jackson was cleared and an investigation revealed no wrongdoing on anyone's part.
But ABC vowed to address toe scandal on Season 4 and that's exactly what happened on part two of the premiere last night, as Harrison hilariously held a discussion on sex, consent and race.
(Which took place about 45 minutes after the show aired Carly and Evan's wedding. Congrats to those two!)
“A lot of tears were shed that night," Harrison said of the evening that featured Corinne and DeMario being grilled by producers. "It was really rough. It was brutal."
This was pretty much all the detail he provided on what actually transpired between the contestants, neither of whom returned to Paradise after production was shut down for two weeks.
"Before I can officially declare Paradise back open, I think it’s very important that we sit down and have a serious talk, all of us, about what happened, what didn’t happen, and what we all need to do to start this show together."
What followed can be described best by the following Tweet:
Let's take a look at some of what the cast had to say about the incident, shall we?
Totally unprompted and not laid out to them beforehand by executives, we're sure, right?
Raven Gates: I was confident that nothing happened between DeMario and Corinne that was bad. I trusted everyone that worked here, so I knew everything was going to be okay.
Alex: Woytkiw: I think there was a lot in the media regarding the producers as if they’re not our friends and they’re just using us to make us do things like we’re going to just do whatever they say.
Derek Peth: I think there’s a weird perception that exists out there that we’re not in control of ourselves when we’re here. … We all know how realistic the friendships are with and among the cast. … We are here to make our own decisions and develop real relationships with everybody.
Taylor Nolan: We’re responsible for ourselves and the things we say, how much we drink, who we kiss.
Kenneth Moreland: Obviously everything came out clean, but I empathize with DeMario a lot more just because obviously we had a black male, white female... I’m thinking of the long-term effects and I was really pissed about that.
Jasmine Goode, on DeMario: He’s a great guy from the guy I met here … and I never felt he was aggressive with any of us. … I just hate that he’s going to have this image stuck with him for a while.
Forget being a Very Important Episode.
This was really an Episode in Which Everyone Followed a Script and Basically Slammed Corinne.
But it ended with Harrison taking on the role of sex-ed teacher, telling the reality stars:
“The purpose of Paradise and what I’m hoping for all of you - and I’m sure you’re all hoping - is to fall in love here.
"Part of falling in love is physical intimacy. That’s a big part of any serious relationship.
"But for while you’re here, please keep consent issues in mind and actually that goes for forever, but it definitely should be something we all talk talk about and something we all think about.”
After each cast member voted to keep filming going (because one of them was really going to object, right? After being flown back out and the cameras turned back on?), Harrison wrapped up the two-night premiere as follows:
After we shut down for more than two weeks, with the power vested within me, I now declare Bachelor in Paradise back open.
This was really pretty pathetic all around.
You can use the video above to watch Bachelor in Paradise online and see what we mean now.