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Have you ever heard the saying "cheaters never win"?

Of course you have, you live on this planet, you’ve heard things.

But while the saying is true, it’s also true that sometimes, on special occasions, people are able to publicly expose cheaters, and those people do win.

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And the people lucky enough to witness it all go down?

Well, friends, we win, too. And we win hard.

Take, for example, the story of a man named Eli. Sit back as we weave this magical tale.

Eli has a friend named Samantha, and Samantha has a boyfriend named Kyle. Or at least she did, before Eli got involved.

In a lovely series of text messages that Eli was kind enough to share on Twitter, he reached out to Kyle and asked him a pointed little question.

"Why were you at Rachel’s house yesterday? Does your girlfriend Samantha know?"

Poor Kyle obviously panicked after reading that gem.

"No. You didn’t tell her did you?…"

Note the question mark and the ellipses. Somebody sure sounds nervous, huh?

But then the magic happens.

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"No," Eli told him. "but I will if you buy me a pizza at Pizza Hut and have it delivered to my house."

He gave Kylie his address, and told him "The choice is yours."

"Okay I did it," Kylie said, and so he did:

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But please take note of the clever wording in Eli’s request.

"No," he said, as in no, he didn’t tell Kyle’s girlfriend that he was at another girl’s house. However …

"But I will if you buy me a pizza."

Either Kyle was real anxious about being found out or he was never that great at reading comprehension, because obviously Eli told him that if he ordered a pizza and had it delivered to his house, then he’d tell the girlfriend that good ol’ Kyle was being unfaithful.

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Here’s the lesson in all this: don’t cheat on your significant other.

Alternate lesson: learn how to read good.