Jessica Simpson: My Husband Gave Me the BEST Porn Star Name!

by at .

If you follow her on Instagram, you know that Jessica Simpson's sex life is open for public scrutiny.

Jessica Simpson Swimsuit Image

Obviously, those Jessica Simpson sex tape rumors turned out to be false, but the singer-turned-actress-turned-shiller-of-overpriced-handbags has basically done everything just short of posting footage of her and her husband gettin' it on.

She's talked about the size of Eric Johnson's penis.

She's posted S&M photos inspired by Fifty Shades of Grey

And now, she's thanking her husband for bestowing her the most precious of gifts:

Obviously, we're talking about a stellar porn star name.

Yesterday, Jess posted the photo below to her Instagram page:

Jessica Simpson, Eric Johnson Instagram Photo

In the caption, she thanked the former NFL tight end for blessing her with an alliterative moniker that would be right at home at the AVN Awards:

"Happy Birthday Eric Johnson!!!," she wrote.

"Thank you for giving me the sexiest porn star name. Love, your wife, Jessica Johnson."

Yes, Jessica doesn't need to play the "street you grew up on, plus the name of your first pet" game to come up with a top-notch nom de boning on camera.

Her married name already has it all, including a healthy dose of dong innuendo.

Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson: 2016 YMA Fashion Scholarship Fund Geoffrey Beene National Scholarship Awards Dinner

If after all her latest revelations, you still find yourself wondering what's going on in Jessica's sex life these days, don't worry....

...she's got more inside info for you!

In her recent interview with Women's Health, we learned that Jessica nearly got a breast reduction last year.

Jessica Simpson Women's Health Cover

But she decided against it after coming to an important realization.

It turns out her husband likes her giant breasts.

"I thought I was going to get a breast reduction," Jess told the mag.

"After having kids, I look at myself and I'm like, you know what, my boobs are actually really big, but I like how they are. They're an asset, and Eric loves them still."

Wow, that must have been a tough thing for him to admit.

We imagine shortly thereafter, Eric revealed that he also enjoys sleeping and eating food, and is a firm believer that water is wet.

So brave.

Show Comments
Tags: , ,

Jessica Simpson Biography

Jessica Simpson: Dessert Beauty Launch Party
Sweet mother of G-d, Jessica Simpson has got some huge breasts. Holy frickin' $h!t. Look at those things! She also possesses a singing... More »
Born
Birthplace
Abilene, Texas
Full Name
Jessica Ann Simpson

Jessica Simpson Quotes

They're just the cutest couple in the world. They are adorable. Anybody would wish to be them and you can only wish them well. Just being around them inspires love and everything I sing about.

Jessica Simpson [on her sister and Pete Wentz]

It’s fun to do a small film that might be released to DVD not because it’s a horrible film, but because it’s an independent film. For people to say Employee of the Month was a flop is ludicrous. We made the money back–that’s not a flop. For people to say The Dukes of Hazzard was a flop–it opened to $30 million! If these movies are flops, why would I still make them?

Jessica Simpson