Teen Mom O.G. Recap: I Am Gonna Beat Ryan's Ass!

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Monday night on Teen Mom: OG, Farrah Abraham returned from her "business" trip and shared a life changing decision with her parents.

Meanwhile, Maci Bookout and Ryan Edwards tried to celebrate Halloween as a family, while Catelynn and Tyler embarked on a honeymoon!

We begin with the life and times of Sophia Abraham, 7.

"My baby decided she was gonna wear a little bit of makeup to school one day," Sophia's grandma, Debra Danielsen, told Farrah Abraham.

"So then she came home and told me, 'Grandma, there was a little situation at school on the makeup and people saying some things.'"

Naturally, Debbo called the principal to drop some KNOWLEDGE and explain that they are simply "in a different situation in our lives."

In short, "this is the way we roll." Can't make this up.

Lovebirds Catelynn and Tyler Baltierra meanwhile, went on their honeymoon in Hawaii, where you would think anxiety would be a non-factor.

Not for Cate. She is battling this harder than ever.

"I was the happiest child, kid, teenager for years. And out of nowhere, it just like smacked me in my face," Lowell confessed to the cameras.

"It's like, why on earth do I have to get this? It's annoying."

Fortunately, Cate was able to have a good time in Hawaii, while back in Indiana, there was plenty of anxiety of a different sort to cope with.

"It's been horrible," Amber told producers of reports that Matt Baier has seven kids, as revealed by Gary Shirley on last week's episode.

"All seven of the kids aren't his," Amber says of that rumor, "but I think a couple might be because of the way that he was in his past."

So instead of seven ... two? Four? Five? Who's to say!

Amber said that everyone makes mistakes and she's ready to forgive her man, though she does worry about some of the fallout here:

"[We'll] figure it out, but I don't want him to look crazy on TV."

Pretty sure we are long, long past that point Ambs.

Matt's take on this, in his own words? That was then, this is now, and Gary sucks: "The difference between me and Gary is very simple."

"Things that happened in my life happened 25 years ago, and they were all drug-induced," he said. "He's just a bad person, currently."

Ouch. To everyone's credit, they got along fine at Leah's birthday party, with Matt openly praising Gary ... or at least his kitchen renovation.

Modern families and co-parenting were also the theme down in Tennessee, where Ryan Edwards once again came up short. Woefully.

"I'm gonna beat Ryan's ass," Maci Bookout said after he bailed on trick or treating at the start of Teen Mom Season 12 Episode 7.

"Can I say that on TV? Where in the hell is he?"

Maci ended up complaining more to boyfriend Taylor McKinney, but Ryan (obviously) didn't seem to think he'd done anything wrong.

"I had to get ready," he said, clearly pleased with his full skeleton costume. "I got shafted again. Was Maci and them in a hurry to leave?"

"Do you like my costume? Anybody? Why didn't you wait on me, Bentley? You didn't wanna wait on me to go trick or treatin'?"

Words fail us here, as they often do with Edwards.

We're guessing Maci had plenty more off camera.

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