Florida Man Pretends to Be Ashton Kutcher to Weasel Out of Drug Arrest, Fails

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Dennis Smith, 27, was stopped by Miami-Dade County, Fla., authorities this morning and charged with possession of two KILOS of cocaine.

But not before resisting arrest ... and employing a most unusual tactic to avoid getting locked up by pretending to be actor Ashton Kutcher.

Florida Man and Ashton

After being forcibly extracted from his white 1985 Lamborghini, Smith told police he was Ashton Kutcher and that the drugs were just props.

He would “sign free autographs” and cast them in his upcoming film The Cocaine Dealer as cops, the Florida man promised, if they let him walk.

They were in Miami, which would make more sense than say, Omaha, but the eagle-eyed cops quickly noticed some holes in this tall tale.

Chief among them? His driver’s license said Dennis Smith.

“He said ‘some kids stole it from me,’” the arresting officer recalled of why the faux Kutcher said he had no ID with his "real" name on it.

“And since he hates driving, he said never got another one and was instead just packing around his character’s driver’s license."

"Which, apparently, was another prop in the movie.”

Smith continued to maintain his identity as Ashton and insisted that the “prop cocaine” was flour; it tested positive as cocaine in the police crime lab.

He ranted, according to the cops: “Why else would they try to pin this on me? They’re jealous. It’s obvious by just looking at me that I’m Ashton Kutcher.”

“The police must not like my movies or they’re simply jealous of my good looks and massive success as a major Hollywood talent.”

Smith threatened that once he is released from jail he will file a lawsuit against the police department for false imprisonment ... and sexual abuse.

Just another day in the life of #FLMan.

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