It’s been four months since Kim Kardashian broke the Internet with her nude, oily Paper magazine photos.
Today, Lindsay Lohan attempted a similar feat by posting a photo of herself in the world’s most cleavage-y top. Needless to say, she failed miserably.
Linds posted the above photo with a caption reading, “Break the Internet with clothes on.” There are several problems with that goal.
For one thing, it’s impossible to break the Internet with clothes on unless you are a cat. A cat in amusing costume – perhaps dressed as a burrito or a hot dog – might stand a chance at achieving Kim K levels of viral fame.
This doesn’t work in Lindsay’s case because the whole world has already seen Lindsay Lohan naked.
The other problem is that Lindsay is not a Kardashian.
She certainly would like to be, as evidenced by the photo of Lindsay and Kris Jenner that LiLo posted on Instagram with the caption, “Family time.”
Sadly, while becoming a Kardashian would undoubtedly be the best possible thing for Lindsay’s career, even Kris wouldn’t adopt her with a ten foot adoption pole these days.
Well, maybe if Lindsay was willing to get a sex change and was willing to star in a reality show about it. Now that would break the Internet. Especially if she adopted a cat first.