The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Beware of Witchy Powers

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The Real Housewives of Beverly HIlls had us wondering if there "Live's a Witch" in these hills. Several, actually and we recap each one in our THG +/- review.

If looks could kill then Kyle Richards would have flayed Brandi Glanville where she sat. Luckily it doesn't appear that Kyle holds any witchy powers…just bitchy ones. Minus 25.

If Looks Could Kill

If Brandi taught us anything it was that sometimes it's all in the delivery.

Such as breaking up with J.R. One moment she's telling him she wants them to be friends. The next she's ripping into him for going on a couples trip with his friends…and without her.

Plus 10. By the end of that conversation I think she had J.R. running for the door.

I hate to say it by Brandi was in the thick of it with Kyle and Kim when it came to making fun of Lisa Vanderpump's fainting spell.

Minus 18. I expected it from the Richards sisters. They're not Lisa's biggest fans but Brandi is suppose to be her friend.

We got to know Joyce a little bit better this week and I'm kind of wishing we hadn't.

Joyce created the Queen of the Universe pageant. Seriously, have you ever heard of anything so ridiculous? Minus 13.

And the former Miss Puerto Rico almost lost her crown over some risque photos until she begged Donald Trump to show her some mercy. 

He did. I'm guessing he liked the pictures.

But it wasn't until Carlton's lunch that things got weird.

Carlton is different…and I like it. Her home is a cross between a cathedral and a gothic castle. It comes complete with creepy dolls and its own confessional. 

Plus 40 because if you're going to go freaky you might as well go all in.

She also hired Elizy, one of the hottest nannies on the planet for her son because she wants him to be surrounded by beautiful woman.  I'm sure her husband isn't against the eye candy either.

But what was up with Elizy telling Carlton she loves her every five minutes? How much are they paying this girl?

Kyle was asking Carlton questions about her religion and as much as I'd normally say that it's smarter to avoid that topic of conversation until you know someone better, all of the crosses in Carlton's home did sort of prompted the question.

Turns out that Carlton is Wiccan, not that she was sharing that with the ladies just yet. I can't say that I blame her with this crowd. Plus 15.

The entire lunch was an awkward affair.

Kyle's questions came off like an interrogation instead of friendly curiosity. Minus 10.

And somehow Brandi calling Carlton the C-word came off like a compliment where if anyone else had said it they would have gotten kicked out of the house.

Like I said, it's all in the delivery. Plus 22. Brandi is Brandi and somehow that foul-mouthed bluntness works for her.

When Joyce tried to follow in her footsteps, it all went wrong. No one wanted to hear about how tight she was or hear her crow over the size of her husband.  Minus 35.

Carlton's off camera response was the best…

"My husband's hung like a f**king donkey but I do not go around telling people that."  Plus 43 and please, there's no need for proof.

Just like the tabloid rumors about Maurice's cheating. Yeah, that was kind of low of Brandi. Minus 14 but I guess she's just thrilled that she's not the only one with a famously cheating husband.

As much as I felt for Kyle, the tears were a bit much. Maybe she can ask Carlton to cast a spell on Brandi.  Then again, I think she might want to avoid Carlton's witchy powers.  That kind of thing could backfire.

Episode total = +15!  Season total = +115!

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