This week on Bachelor Pad … Chris Bukowski cemented his status as the top player.
How that happened is somewhat baffling, since we’re talking about Chris Bukowski.
Chris may be a cool dude to hang out with, and reasonably good looking, but how Emily Maynard‘s fourth-place finisher became this Bachelor Pad sex god worshiped by at least three women on the show is beyond comprehension.
We break down his latest escapades and everything else in THG’s +/- recap!
Chris Harrison starts off the Game Show competition by asking some Bachelor-related questions. Minus 10 for the fact that for us it’s the easiest quiz ever.
Then things get interesting as he reveals the inappropriate responses from questionnaires filled out the previous day. Plus 15 for incredible awkwardness.
Ed Swiderski and Jaclyn, the girl we don’t even remember from her original run but who’s been hooking up with Ed, win the trivia contest. Yay? Plus 5.
Jaclyn picks Ed to go on her romantic date. She is totally into Ed, which is convenient as Ed is also totally into Ed. Good times at Dodger Stadium. Plus 5.
At the Pad, Jamie does her best to set women back three decades as she throws himself at Chris, who’s 1) not really interested and 2) a douche. Minus 70.
She describes Bukowski more than once as “hot” and “wonderful” … even if you have no clue what a dick he’s being behind your back … huh?! Minus 30.
Chris asks Sarah to join him for the one-on-one date that Ed gave him (don’t even ask about the rules), causing Jamie to be like, so confused! Plus 5.
Blakeley Shea, meanwhile, is about ready to blow a gasket. If she says “partners ’til the end” one more time, we’re going to kill ourselves. Minus 15.
Why does she even care? She’s not putting out! Is she just so insane that she can’t handle her “partner” talking to other girls? Eh, probably. Plus 20.
Sarah and Chris get in a limo take them to a Hollywood stunt date, which is pretty cool, especially when he gets a roundhouse kick to the face. Plus 5.
She looked pretty hot in that catsuit, too. Just saying. Plus 10.
Chris and Sarah chill in the hot tub, make out, find some robes and ask the front desk for a room key as Jamie eats ice cream at home. Plus 15.
Jamie thinks it’s sweet that “Chris doesn’t want to drive home so late and is concerned for Sarah’s safety.” Seriously. Beyond pathetic. Minus 100.
Feeling his style crimped by her insanity, Chris decides he is juggling too many women with no self-esteem and wants Blakeley gone. Plus 10.
The plan falls through, however, when Kalon sticks to his original pact with Mike and votes off Jamie, which is probably for the best. Plus 30.
Can you envision another week of watching Jamie on TV after this? Blakeley may have a screw loose, but she has some self-respect. Some.
Super fan Dave gets the boot on the guys’ side. Minus 5 because he was actually cooler and more normal than some of the actual contestants.
Not that this is saying much. Minus 100 for him SOBBING that this was the best four weeks of his life. If that’s true, Dave, it’s time to reassess.
EPISODE TOTAL: -220. SEASON TOTAL: -332.