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In case you were one of the sane individuals who missed last night’s episode of Don’t Be Tardy for the Wedding, consider this a nauseating recap:

Kim Zolciak went topless.

As a pre-wedding day gift for fiance Kroy Biermann, the reality star placed pasties over her nipples and painted her bare torso, complaining at first about her messy yard and lack of a flower person for the nuptials – “This photo shoot is the last thing I have on my mind” – before deciding to just go through with it because:

“I’m so damn sexy, f-ck it.”

Click on the photos above to enlarge and, remember, it could be worse: Kim could have chosen to sing instead.

Would you tap this?