The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Night of a Thousand Surprises

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They're back. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills have returned to the mainland at last. Can Kim and Kyle keep it together long enough to get through one party?

Let's find out, and break down the tears, in THG's patented +/- recap!

It's the grand opening party of Lisa's new lounge at Sur and all of the Housewives are invited. But the real fun comes from the unexpected guests ...

Lisa's scrambling with the finishing touches but Sur looks lovely so Plus 8 for a job well done. But as Ken tries to give her a congratulatory hug, she's too busy to enjoy it and brushes it off. She jokes that Ken can get his cuddle next year.

Lisa and Ken

These two are so funny they earn an additional Plus 5.

Everyone starts to arrive and Lisa and Brandi immediately poke fun at one another. Lisa's just happy Brandi's wearing more than a string bikini. Brandi goes to flirt with Ken who says he's much too short for Brandi, especially in her heels.

Lisa reminds him he's also much too married. These three are great when they let their hair down. Plus 10.

Brandi quickly realizes that a waitress at the event was her ex-husband, Eddie's mistress (no, not LeAnn Rimes). Well, that's awkward. Brandi tries to play it off but who wants to be around the woman their husband was screwing around with.

Lisa does the right thing and gives the waitress the night off. Plus 7 for quickly diffusing what could have been a bad situation.

Lisa's challenges get more interesting when Cedric shows up. What rock did he crawl out from under and how did he get in? He's fawning all over Lisa who tells him it's a private party and he needs to leave. The guy has some nerve but eventually he takes the hint.
Kim Richards is Trashed

Kim and Ken take a limo to the party and Kim is flying high in the back seat. She's picking through the trash and taking off her bra. Ken doesn't seem to mind. Maybe he likes her better wasted. Minus 12.

Kim blames her loopiness on having anxiety and being a Virgo. I don't think her astrological chart has anything to do with this behavior. She arrives at the party and shows people her personal pink vibrator! Now there's an ice breaker. I'm not even sure how to give points for that one.

Kim whispers to Adrienne that she's leaving Ken and Adrienne runs to get Kyle. The two sisters find a private table and the tear fest begins. Do these two ever have a conversation that doesn't end up with one of them crying. Minus 8.

Kim not only laments her disastrous relationship (the one she was praising just a week before) but mentions that she's three months late! Plus 20 to Kyle who asks if it could be menopause. Honey, you took the words right out of my mouth. 

Kim won't even entertain the thought but is too scared to take a pregnancy test. Yeah, that's adult. Minus 11. All I can say is that I pray she's not with child considering how many drugs may be coursing through her system. It's a scary thought.

Kim eventually locks herself in the ladies room and Ken stakes out the door. Kim's yelling for him to leave her alone and it's all more than a little ridiculous.

Taylor Armstrong is a Mess

Across the room, Taylor arrives with her therapist. She has a sit down with the ladies to give them the news face to face. She's left Russell. They had one last huge fight where she's ended up with a bruise under her eye and she's finally done. Plus 15.

She sincerely asks forgiveness for dragging everyone else through hell along with her, especially Camille and they all seem willing to move on.

Knowing how this story ends for Russell, I'm interested to see if we get anymore of his side of things before the season ends.


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