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Jersey Shore’s third season ended not with a bang, but with a thud. After 13 weeks, we’re as exhausted by Sammi and Ronni as the reality stars themselves.

There were many fun, hilarious times in Season 3, but the enduring image will be that of a couple so desperately in love … and so loathsome of one another.

As always, THG breaks down some of the top Jersey Shore quotes and scenes in our official +/- recap below. For the last time until Italy, let’s DO THIS:


Breaking up is hard to do. For you. It’s REALLY hard for these idiots.

We pick up where we left off last week. OMG, Ron and Sam are SO in a fight! Did she make out with Arvin? Did she text Arvin to meet up? Do we care? Minus 9.

Arvin: “Sam, we made out before.” Sam: “No, we haven’t.” Arvin: “Yeah, we have.” Sam: “No, we haven’t.” Plus 4, because is there that much of a gray area?

Is it just us or is Vinny becoming kind of an ass these days? Minus 5.

Whoa, the Snitch-uation apologizes to Sam for meddling. Plus 3.

“I feel like the joke’s on me,” Ronnie says. “I feel like a fool.” Yes, but this applies not just to the Arvin matter, but to any scene from 2009-present. Minus 6.

“We treat guests with utmost respect.” – Pauly. We’d hate to see what disrespecting them looks like in that case, but it’s a nice sentiment, so … Wash.

Pauly D gets behind the turntables at the end of summer party, while Deena breaks it down on the dance floor with … Vinny’s Uncle Nino. Plus 14

Life is a grind in a good way for Uncle Nino.

Deena is shocked when Vinny calls her the new Angelina, which in Seaside is basically the equivalent of being called the c-word. Oh, he went there. Minus 8.

Roger proposes to JWoww … that they be exclusive. Plus 10, ’cause it’s quite sweet, and Plus 5 more ’cause people act like he popped the real question here.

JWoww: “I am literally head over heels.” Sigh. Wash ’cause she’s happy.

Snook: “Whiskey sex is definitely the best … when a guy can have sex for five hours because he’s so drunk. Or his penis is so drunk.” It’s Snooki, so Minus 7.

Snook: “Get it all out freaking do everything that you can have sex with an old man and steal a plant and get arrested and do whatever.” Huh? Eh, Plus 12.

Things seemed to be okay, but at Karma, Sammi talks to some male friends, which angers Ronnie after all the Arvin stuff … or at any time, really. Minus 9.

Ronnie: “I’m real, and you’re not! F–k you, crazy bitch!” Sammi: “My biggest regret in my life is you!” Plus 6, because they’re so in love. Really, they are.

The Last Supper brought back memories good and bad.

The final family meal is less joyous and more tense this year. Minus 4.

Snooki: “After I run for president, Deena is going to be vice-president. I would get $h!t done in this country. The economy would rise, everyone would be tan, and all of the radios would play house music.” Hey, Bush was president, so Plus 4.

Are those sequined butterflies on Roger’s jeans?! Minus 12.

Situation: “That rug reminds me of Ron and Sam’s relationship.” Plus 7.

Sammi: “You’re my best friend. You’re the only one who makes laugh, cry, be happy, sad, miserable, excited.” So true, save for the good parts. Minus 20.

So they broke up. Which means they’re back together by the time you read this. Or have gotten back together only to break up again. Either way, Plus 3.