It's taken us almost a full season, but THG has finally found someone willing to cover The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. It hasn't been easy. Most critics can't keep their dinner down as they watch this revolting nonsense.
But how did one intern respond to the events from last night? Find out now...
Lisa reminds me of Dynasty and an era when pink lipstick and coifs were en vogue. Can I keep you, Lisa Vanderpump?
Oh, Camille. Kelsey calls you in the middle of the night to tell you he wants out (just like that scene from The Starter Wife). Then, he appeases you by suggesting a romantic weekend to get back on track. Time to bow out and take your cut of the profits. Kelsey's taking you for a ride."You look a little..."
"A little tired? A little thin? Have you noticed that I've lost a little weight?"
No, but keep talking about your appearance. Whatever gets you through these hard times. Speaking of which, where is Nick?
What's this? Is Kim stepping back into the limelight? Did she just tell Disney On Demand that she's over being a mom? You mean we don't have to feel sorry for Kim anymore because her life revolves around her children who have no interest in being around her? You're not broken, Kim! You're just a little damaged.
God bless Adrienne's husband, Paul. He had his nose broken not once but TWICE by his young son during the season. Why did Adrienne bring Paul shopping? Awful idea to bring your husband shopping.
"There's too many clothes."
"Come on, man!."
"Adrienne, go take look at that clearance rack."
Cedric sets up tea time in an attempt to linger longer at Chateau Vanderpump. What kind of a tea set is that, Lisa? I think I have a lunch box with the same pattern.
It's Farrah's big day and Portia just wants to take a bath in peace. She could care less what Kyle wears to the ceremony. Bath time is quiet time. Why doesn't anyone get that?
I feel for Camille. I really do. She really chapped my ass this entire season, but when you're down, you're down. Camille's showing humanity and I appreciate that.
I LOVE MAURICIO. I LOVE HIM.
Portia, you have some pasta sauce on your face.
What's going on with Paul and Adrienne's impromptu marriage counseling at Farrah's graduation lunch? Mauricio's mom, Estella, is not on the clock. And, Adrienne, it's so unlike you to air your dirty laundry on camera. Wait, now the conversation just turned to a face lift for Estella. I'm confused.
Who let Kim stand up to speak?
The last four minutes of the episode were the four most frustrating minutes of the season. How do you put on a happy face for your husband who dumped you, then asked that you accompany him to the Tony Awards? Tell him to have a blast at the ceremony and to call when your severance for the last thirteen years is in the mail.
Stop acting like everything is great. Don't compliment him. Don't tell him you love him. He doesn't deserve that. He's with another woman. Like my mother always said: "They never leave a warm bed for a cold one." Think about that before you put on the red dress. Not to mention you can't even go back to that 3,500 square foot shoebox Kelsey calls home because he won't allow it. What a crock.
Nick is there, so it's alright. Go ahead and kiss him on the lips while his wife idly stands by.
Next week oughta be good. How many times have you wanted to tackle your sister for making your blood boil? Never? Me neither...