The Bachelor Recap: Black Eyes, Bad Comma Use

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Last night's episode of The Bachelor was all about facing fears. Or so the cue cards claimed. Who's up to the task and who's packing their bags, ladies?

The fourth installment of the season met its usual quota of tears, catty comments, unintentional comedy and awkwardly-phrased sentences from Brad.

How did it all play out? Let's break it down in THG's classic +/- recap!

Michelle Money Pic

Michelle Money is really coming into her own as an insane contestant.

The episode hilariously opens with Michelle waking up to learn she has a black eye. "I have no idea what happened," she tells Brad. Meghan thinks she's just trying to get attention ... by punching her own face?! Eh, we'll buy it. Plus 10.

Ashley S. couldn't care less how it happened, she just wishes she'd been responsible. "I want to rip her head off," she says. Girl, tone down the crazy. Minus 4.

Off to Catalina with Chantal. Where Kip-Ten fell in love. So poetic. Plus 3.

Chantal name-checks all the Bachelor catch-phrases in like three minutes: "Find the right person," "I have trust," "He's worth it," "Follow my heart," etc. Minus 9.

Over dinner she tells Brad that she wants to get married again. We admit, we sort of like Chantal O'Brien. Brad really seems to act like himself with her. Plus 8.

Dude needs to speak without being so rehearsed though. His scripted lines don't always come out right, i.e. "I want to continue this, badly, with you." Minus 3.

Brad On the Hot Seat

Brad pretends he'd heard of Dr. Drew three hours prior to this.

Minus 6 for the group going to Loveline with Dr. Drew and acting like they're being all profound in opening up about relationships. Just seems silly and contrived.

Outside, Ashley H. is worried she's not getting any time with Brad. She then proceeds to get all kinds of drunk at the pool party. Gotta love The Bachelor. Plus 6.

Brad is going to give her a rose to make her feel better, but "UGH, this is AWKWARD!" she wails, interrupting Brad and earning Britt the rose instead. Minus 14.

Ashley H. is coming out of her shell and providing a nice, not-quite-as-nuts kind of crazy counterbalance to Michelle, though. We hope she sticks around. Plus 4.

As The Bachelor spoilers predicted, Michelle gets a one-on-one date. And is just as insane as you think about "ME TIME!" She can become grating fast. Minus 7.

Before rappelling down the side of an LA skyscraper, a tearful Michelle decides to "take a leap of faith for love." Good one, Chris and Mike. Well-written. Plus 9.

Brad and Emily Pic

Just pop the question already, Brad. We know you want to.

Even though she didn't get a one-on-one date, Brad takes Emily Maynard outside for a private picnic. Sort of gives the shaft to the other gals, but it's Emily. Plus 10.

Chantal is most affected by Brad's gesture, questioning whether she is "unstable" and "meek" enough for Brad. Wow, rough. But kind of true, so Minus only 3.

"It's hard to be reminded he has special things with other people too." - Chantal. On The Bachelor, yes, who'd ever have seen that shocking twist coming. Plus 4.

Again with Brad's odd comma use. After he cuts three women loose, he says "Come here, to me, please?" Brad, it's okay to speak off the cuff at times. Minus 7.

At least they got Chris Harrison out of bed for the ceremony. Plus 3.


ROSE RECIPIENTS: Alli Travis, Ashley Hebert, Ashley Spivey, Britt Billmaier, Chantal O’Brien, Emily Maynard, Jackie Gordon, Lisa Morrisey, Marissa May, Michelle Money, Shawntel Newton.

OUT: Stacey Queripel, Meghan Merritt and Lindsey Hill.

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The Bachelor Quotes

There’s still a lot of growing to do in our relationship. We will not tie the knot until I am mentally and physically prepared as well as Matt.

Shayne Lamas

It was a fairytale proposal like I’ve always dreamed about. I forgot that there [were] cameras around. In that moment, it was just Matt and I and it was the most amazing moment of my entire life.

Shayne Lamas [on proposal by Matt Grant]