Last night on Jersey Shore, the fallout from Vinny's smushing session with Angelina lingered. Meanwhile, Situation exceeded even his own standards for creepiness.
Airing as the MTV Video Music Awards lead-in, the special Sunday episode did not lack for humor, drama or sleaziness. These people need to be tested. Now.
As always, THG is here to break down some of the top Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from "All in the Family" in its patented plus-minus recap below ...
Poor Jose. Fool's getting straight up played by Angelina.
Angelina smushing Vinny while sort of dating Jose pissed off everyone in the house. Except Ronnie, who says she's got game. Hey, he's not a hypocrite! Plus 8.
The Situation is incredulous, calling her "the Staten Island Ferry ... everybody gets a ride, and it's free." LOL, but Minus 3, because "his boy" Ron is the same.
Snooki on Ange: "You had my sloppy seconds. Good for you. And obviously you're loosey goosey because he got in it." So wrong on so many levels. Minus 19.Vinny's family visits from NYC, including his Uncle Nino, a Jack Nicholson-esque O.G. (Original Guido) who babbles incoherently and gestures excitedly. Plus 7.
"I'm in heaven," Nino says in one of his few decipherable statements. If heaven is a hot tub jam packed with dudes and J-Woww's fake boobs ... run. Minus 3.
Nino calls The Situation The Sanitation. Inaccurate, but hilarious. Plus 5.
As he and Sitch debate which girls shall be taken home, Pauly D insists: "Ask them if they're DTF though. Don't waste no time today. It's Saturday." Plus 4.
After a 6:30 a.m. booty call, Pauly's girl arrives, solo, dropping a bomb on The Situation in a melodramatic voice: "All my friends are grenades." Plus 14.
Pauly and Vinny met some wife-caliber ladies last night. Not Angelina.
Angelina is saved by the age-old confusion over the phrase "hooking up." Jose thinks she and Vinny merely kissed. Give it up for lying through omission. Plus 9.
We just noticed that this episode features very little of Ronnie Magro and Sammi Giancola! What an unexpectedly awesome development, and worth Plus 5.
It's always been a fine line between amusing and downright misogynistic with him, but The Situation is firmly in the latter category now. It's revolting. Humping people at clubs? Front row seats for a smash session? Shiver. Minus 21.
Just to show they're not all bad, Vinny and Pauly meet some girls they genuinely like and decide to go all-in wining and dining them. Because plenty of girls may be smash worthy, but the rarest of roses must be wifed up. Plus 7.
Minutes after describing himself as "bank," that institution is apparently in foreclosure, because Ramona is a no-show. Our man has been stood up. Minus 6.
Whoa, Pauly D's hair is a mess! Man down! Minus 5. He and Ronnie rally around Vinny as only they can, encouraging him to purse rebound smashing. Plus 2.
TOTAL: +4. SEASON TOTAL: +111.