We gotta talk, Life & Style.
We understand that you’re celebrity gossip tabloid trying to make money, and that naive individuals blindly heed the words of talentless celebrities for reasons that make us ashamed to be a human being.
Therefore, you’re gonna plaster their bikini bodies on your cover each week and make it seem like such geniuses as Kim Kardashian and Kendra Wilkinson can actually offer useful advice. But can you at least publish new material?!?
The latest issue of this embarrassing publication simple recycles old photos for its lead story and then quotes Kim, Kendra and others from interviews these stars gave months ago.
For example, Kendra offers these words of wisdom to anyone trying to get in shape: “I’m phasing [junk food] out, little by little… and “hiking, biking, just going outside and having fun.”
How about you, Kristin Cavallari? What’s your secret? “I don’t eat processed food, for the most part. I try to eat all natural. I work out three to four times a week at the gym and do lots of sit-ups.”
So… wait. People can lose weight if they eat healthy and exercise?!? This is novel information. What else can you tell us, Life & Style?
Only you can stop this madness, people. Stop purchasing these ridiculous tabloids, especially when we’ll reprint their covers for free on THG. While the magazine above isn’t the only offender – did you hear that Jennifer Aniston lost 7 pounds in 7 days?!? – it’s clearly the most unoriginal.
See anything familiar on the cover of its previous two issues, prior to the one above?