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As you may have heard, Rihanna and Matt Kemp are heating up Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. What attracted the singer to the Los Angeles Dodgers outfielder?

Probably his Match.com profile.

Funny or Die style, that is. The comedy site has struck gold before with Match.com parodies (namely Kate and Jon Gosselin), and this is no exception.

“I’m looking for a chick with a dude’s haircut that likes sharing umbrellas,” the faux Kemp says, adding that he digs girls in “clothes that show their nips.”

He says emotional baggage is “all good,” and before signing off, takes a shot at Chris Brown, noting “Oh, I don’t hit chicks. I don’t know if that matters.”

Check out Matt Kemp’s profile

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