This just in: Kourtney Kardashian will eventually have her baby!
Step-father Brunce Jenner assures fans that there’s no chance the socialite will remain knocked up forever. He told E! News:
“I have great confidence she will get through this – that baby will be born.”
While phrased oddly at first, Jenner was actually offering a few words of warning for Kourtney, adding: “Then the real tough stuff starts for her. You’ve got a little baby there for 24 hours a day, for the next 20 years!”
It’s actually closer to 18 years for most parents, Bruce. But you don’t have any experience with your children actually attending college.
As for Kourtney, she’s sick of packing on pounds.
“I weigh myself every day,” she said. “I’ve gained 26 pounds since getting pregnant… I can’t wait to sit down already. It’s hard carrying extra weight.”
Perhaps she should have thought of that before having unprotected sex with shady boyfriend Scott Disick.
Perhaps, also, she shouldn’t look at this miraculous bundle of upcoming joy as “extra weight.” Seriously. This kid is doomed.