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Yesterday on Good Morning America, Rihanna had a message for her fellow women who have suffered domestic abuse at the hands of their men: eff love!

She meant that in the sense that you can’t take a man back just because you love him, as she did with Chris Brown. You have to stand up for yourself.

Today, in the second part of her interview with Diane Sawyer, Rihanna described, for the first time in her own words, just how bad Brown’s attack was.

While it was all happening, Brown “had no soul in his eyes,” she said.

We’ve read the police reports and seen the graphic, post-beating pics, but to hear Rihanna recount the events of the evening in detail is still shocking.

She says Chris really threatened to kill Rihanna for calling her assistant that night, and while she doesn’t believe he ever follow through with that scare tactic, the physical abuse she recounts was both very real and deeply upsetting.

Rihanna in her interview with Diane Sawyer for GMA and 20/20.

“I fended him off with my feet from one … side of the car, but … it was not like, it was not like a fight with each other. I just … wanted it to stop,” she said.

“I was bleeding. I was swollen in my face. So there was no way of me getting home, except for, my next option was to get out of the car and walk … start walking in a gown, in a bloody face? So I really don’t know what my plan was.”

“I didn’t have a plan. That whole night was not part of my plan.”

By the time the police came, she was already “battered” and when asked what caused the fight initially, she would only say that her boyfriend lied to her:

“I caught him in a lie. I was being more annoyed at that point in our relationship he had to lie about something so stupid, I couldn’t take that he kept lying to me. And he couldn’t take that I wouldn’t drop it. And … it was ugly.”

Follow the jump for more details and a video of Rihanna’s interview

She said she got a booty call text from another girl and caught him.

Rihanna says he couldn’t let go of the fact that she wouldn’t drop it, she couldn’t take the fact that he wouldn’t admit what he was doing wrong and it escalated.

He punched her in the face – while driving – as blood poured out of her mouth. He pounded her nearly unconscious and ultimately walked away from the scene.

Despite how badly she got hurt, she was feeling a “host of emotions ” and that her love for Chris Brown “blinded” her from seeing the reality of the situation.

“The physical wounds go away, you put it in the back of your head and you start lying to yourself subconsciously,” she said, noting that it took getting over the hurdle of feeling the need to protect her first love before she could walk away.

“I just said to him, ‘I can’t do this.’ I resented him. I resented him so much. And I always put the tough face on and try to just try to play it off. But he knew.”

“He kept asking me, ‘You hate me, don’t you? You hate me.’ And I would lie and I would say, ‘No, no. And … I did hate him. Everything about him annoyed me. So finally, I just said, we can’t. We can’t do this. I cannot continue to do this.”

Rihanna says a part of her may never recover from this.

“The thing that men don’t realize, when they hit a woman … the face, the broken arm, the black eye, it’s going to heal. That’s not …. the problem. It’s the scar inside.”

“You flash back. You … remember it all the time.”

“It comes back to you whether you like it or not. And it’s painful,” she admitted, fighting back tears. “So I don’t think he understood that. They never do.”

Rihanna Interview with Diane Sawyer