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During an interview with Entertainment Tonight that will air later today, Robert Pattinson addresses his new, bizarre world, one filled with lies, paranoia and paparazzi.

Sounds like fun!

Here are excerpts of what Pattinson had to say about NOT dating co-star Kristen Stewart and trying not to ruin people’s lives:

On rumors he and Stewart are a couple: “It becomes a joke. There was some magazine the other day about me and Kristen, and when you look at it and realize it’s on the front of a magazine… You realize that people are actually reading that even though how ridiculous it is. It’s really bizarre.

On fears about having a girlfriend: “I’m always really worried about ruining their lives. Especially with people that aren’t famous. It’s such a massive change. I’m kind of a paranoid wreck.”

On the paparazzi: “You have people who analyze your facial expressions to the tiniest degree. So you’re just trying to avoid getting photographed. You’re like, ‘Jesus, you can’t win.'”

As their facial expresses make clear, neither Robert Pattinson nor Kristen Stewart loves the life of a celebrity.