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Despite recently-leaked photos to the contrary, Caroline Pal says she has “never shot topless photos, ever. No topless, no stripping.”

In a new interview with Las Vegas newspaper The Review Journal, the girlfriend of Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps says she’s suffering from the glare of the celebrity gossip spotlight. The wave of publicity “has been really hard,” she said.

“Those photos are not a statement of who I am,” Caroline Pal added, referring to the aforementioned provocative images, which were taken a few years ago as part of a photo shoot for Beverly Hills Pimp & Hos, a popular urban clothing line.

An example, Caroline Pal says, of a picture that implies she “was full frontally topless.”

For someone that’s supposedly livid over her quasi-naked pictures, Pal can’t stop talking about them. She continued, railing against those that have reduced her to nothing more than a skanky stripper. 

“[People] think my implied photos are topless photos and they are not. They are not nude. They are just implied.”

Or they are “nearly nude,” as some reporters have accurately dubbed the images.

Pal said she has no interest in posing for Playboy, while lamenting that her parents and friends have been “bombarded” by “lying” publications that said “they talked to me.” It’s all a part of the entertainment news culture, which the waitress says has…

“… been like living in a fish tank the last couple days, with people tapping on the glass and me just trying to swim in little circles, like Nemo.”

For the record, Caroline, Nemo’s problem wasn’t swimming in tiny, fish tank-induced circles. The poor guy was lost in the ocean, just like you are lost in a sea of topless photos, no matter how you try to spin it.