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Someone has to do something about Paris Hilton’s pussy obsession.

You’d think Stavros Niarchos would be the ideal candidate, but we’re not sure if he knows anything about animals. Or taste in women.

Hilton, though, continues to torture innocent cats by subjecting them to her STD-ridden, jailbird-like hands. Holly Madison really need to represent PETA in this example of animal cruelty.

Carter Reum, Wife
Photo via Getty Images

Heck, Britney Spears probably treats her kids better than Paris treats these pets.

We’d ask Jayden James if that were the case – but we haven’t been able to find him in a really long time.